I am waiting on a sitter so that we can head up to the hospital - we slept this a.m. and I got some great time to play with jack! Jadon is having an amazing time at Dedy's & Pops this weekend - these weekends are usually filled with lots of games, cartoons, pancakes, tractor rides and a new addition is catching frogs!
Kyle is having a good day today - he has so far accepted 24 hours of feedings, his electrolytes and blood gases were good this a.m. he is had a restful night and is doing good this morning. it is hard to know what to say - one nurse will comment on how good he is and the next will remind you of how critical he is.
I think as a mom you have a protection mechanism inside you that makes you truly unable to accept the thought of anything happening to one of your own. But when the doctors get dangerously close to breaking through that mechanism it is like I feel all of my fear physically. The most terrifying experience I can describe. This is what I have been praying about - other than the hours I spend begging God for Kyle's healing. I don't feel like my fear is a lack of faith. I don't want it to be. I confess my fears to the Lord constantly. I beg him to increase all of our faith.
I have been asking God to replace the sudden paniced feelings with a peace and the horrific visions of the worst with visions of the best. yesterday as I played with jack I was picturing kyle running around with him. and the other morning john walked out into our living room and jadon yelled, "daddy", and jack yelled "daddy" and I could hear one day all three of them in unison "daddy". I realize as I type this that many of may cry as you read it :) but I don't mean it that way - I mean it as a praise - God is healing my heart! He is protecting me like only a father can! These are things that I desperately need.
A friend once challenged me when I said the statement "God is faithful" (I was quoting an amazing song writer). He wanted to know "faithful to what?" and I realized just yesterday that God that god is faithful to himself. to his character. lots to think on there - but I will pray for what I know - God is good - He is our healer - God created Kyle - God will provide what I need for each day.
Thank you to those of you sending scripture! It is a lifeline for me! I am gratefule to you all!
more later - my ride is here I'm going to read to my little lion.
Kyle's NICU Story in Pictures
6 comments:
John & Kelly-
I am so blessed and so amazed and so encouraged by the faith that both of you are showing in this difficult time. I got the link to this blog off facebook, and I realized that John played at my DNow in high school about 5 years ago in Georgetown, Texas. Every day, I read your blog and pray for your sweet baby, and I am just so humbled by the complete honesty and faith that you share with all of us. I know that this time could be one that completely breaks a person down, but just to see your transparency and doubts that you have, but to also see how strong you are in your faith... it challenges me daily in mine. I am not facing anything near as trying as this, but I lack this kind of faith at times, and I am completely encouraged every day by seeing the way God is using your family in this time.
I am praying that Kyle's body will be healed in such a supernatural way that nobody will be able to explain it but just to give the glory to God. I am so certain that the doctors and nurses that are in contact with your family are blessed by your faith each time they are around Kyle, and that is definitely something positive coming out of this situation. People are seeing God's glory and being transformed by the life of such a sweet baby's arrival that wasn't even planned yet. It's funny how God uses these moments that break our boxes that we put Him in to show us how amazing He truly is.
God is going to be glorified in this situation, and I know that His hand is always with you. Just rest in His love and mercy and peace, and enjoy each precious moment you are with Kyle because you are seeing God's face in such a wonderful way. I will continue to keep your family in my prayers. God bless!
Amanda
"Whom have I in heaven but You? And earth has nothing I desire besides You. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."
[psalm 73:25-26]
"And we know that in ALL things, God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose."
[romans 8:28]
[romans 8:28]
Praying for Kyle and your beautiful family faithfully. Read on, Kelly. Jot down what you're reading to him. They'll be his favorite books when he's older!
"But he knows the way I take and when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold. My feet have closely followed his steps. I have kept to his way without turning aside." Job 23:10-11
Daily I am reading until I find a scripture that grabs my heart for each of you. We spent time at the altar for each of you this morning.
Isaiah 40: 28-29
Have you not known?
Have you not heard?
The everlasting God, the LORD,
The Creator of the ends of the earth,
Neither faints nor is weary,
His understanding is unsearchable.
He gives power to the weak,
And to those who have no might He increases strength.
I know that you have known and have heard...Thank God that you are not going through this without knowing His love! I am praying that the God who has known throughout eternity of these grueling days in Kyle's life, which He created, will show Himself mighty...that He will continue to breathe life and strength into Kyle and into each of you.
Colleen
Colossians 3:14-16
14And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.
15Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. 16Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God.
Just wanted to let you know that I am praying for you and your family and especially your son. I am a missionary in Haiti and have lived here for 12 years. I run a Rescue Center that houses children. We have had several small premies that have come through our center, none, of course, as small as yours. But several that were right at three pounds. They lived without the modern medical facilities in the USA. All that to say God is Able, so able to help your son. He is the healer and the one we must cling to. Keep your heads up and know there are many praying for you and your family. Keep your eyes on Jesus and thank Him everyday for each day you have with your son. Be blessed today and know that HE cares about you and knows your hearts desires. Praying!
John and Kelly,
I just want you to know that I read every entry and most of the comments. I am so encouraged by your faith and also by the words others write to you. I thank God that He created us with a desire to surround our brothers and sisters in Christ and pray for them and love on them. Thank you for pouring out your hearts for all of us and keeping us informed on how we can pray specifically for Kyle and for the rest of your beautiful family. I will continue to lift Kyle up in prayer and also Jack and Jadon as they miss Mommy and Daddy.
Jadon loves Jack so much. Last week on Monday I was helping with Jack's class during the Fall Festival when he fell and scraped his knees... he didn't even cry... what a super hero! When your friend came to pick up the boys, I walked her to each class. Miss Jen was explaining to your friend (sorry I don't remember her name) how Jack had scraped his knees. Jadon heard this and immediately started loving on Jack and saying he was sorry that he had scraped his knees. What a sweet big brother! Like you mentioned in your last entry Kelly, I could picture Jadon doing the same for Kyle! God is great and greatly to be praised!
Love in Him,
Tracey Hutcherson
Kelly,
Thank you so much for being diligent in letting us know how things are going! You don't have to share your life, your innermost feelings with thousands of people, but you do and I thank you for that.
I visit both websites several times daily. The first thing I do every morning is take the puppies out and pray for Kyle while I am outside and the second thing I do is come to the computer to "check on the baby!" Same routine this evening after church... take out the puppies, check on Kyle.
My prayer is always that you and John will go the hospital and be able to begin the day with good news!
We prayed for you all at church this evening. They always ask me how Kyle is doing. I told them tonight that I praise the Lord that he will be 2 weeks old tomorrow and that in itself is a blessing! God is so good. I admire your faith and pray that the Lord will give you all a sense of peace that can only come from Him.
Please know we are continuing to pray for you and John and your boys. Should you all need anything, please don't hesitate to ask! JD knows how to get in touch with us.
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