Kyle's NICU Story in Pictures

Friday, January 18, 2008

Jan 18th - Kelly

When Kyle's doctors called the other night with the information that he was not breathing on his own well, having a hard time keeping his heart rate up, he was lethargic (not responding well), and his oxygen requirements were way up and he was not saturating well.... all the air that had been slowly becoming available for me to breathe left the room again.  Every story from the internet that I had read about preemies living 8 weeks and then getting an infection and not living came rushing back.  I spent much time that night letting God know exactly what I would feel and do if took Kyle away from us now.  His NP started 2 antibiotics, took blood cultures, a CBC looking for infections, a CRP looking for inflammation, and put him back on CPAP.  We waited.

that night jack prayed.  i asked if he wanted to pray or if he wanted me to pray.  he said "jack".  so I said okay and this was his prayer.  "Jesus... tyle (that's Kyle)... better"

he said it best - i keep trying to make it elegant.  like that will make a difference.  you know lots of people compare God to a father ... like our earthly father.  and when jadon asks us for something and he whines - he DOES NOT GET IT.  but if he asks in his big boy words - he has a better chance.  God probably doesn't work this way but just a passing thought - maybe I should stop whining, pulling on God's pants leg, wallowing on the floor making whiny threats about what I will do if I don't get my way.  hahahahaha - we always say that jadon takes after me!

That next morning Kyle was much better!  He has spent the last 2 days at 21% oxygen.  that is room air!  at 1 a.m. they will officially say that Kyle does not have an infection and they will pull his antibiotics.  He has already been weaned down to a CPAP of 5 and tomorrow they think he will go to 4!  the next step will be (once again) nasal cannula.  Brandi is amazing at keeping his Os down.  and Misty is there tonight. back from the dungeon! yea!  so kyle has awesome nurses and I am learning that makes all the difference.  

so, Kyle is doing really good!  he is now officially holding his own temp as he went to an open crib today!!  or big boy bed as we like to call it.  so he has been weaned from help with his temp.  he is really getting big.  he also has a mobile - he looks at it and it plays music which he also notices!  

kyle loves his paci! he loves to be swaddled.  He LOVES to have his head scratched through his hat.  and he loves to be held.  he loves his nurses and did i mention he loves his paci!

john and i are running around like crazy.  we meet each other coming and going.  but it is just for another month and a half they thing - docs say 2 months - but our nurse today said she thought maybe a month and a half!  we juggle the boys - juggle the house work - and john is really swamped with work.  i know we can hang in there but today brought frustration and stress and that led to arguing!  two babies of the families that both think they are first borns and you can imagine - we can fight! I figured with our stress levels this high and lack of sleep this is just part of it.  by the grace of God and john's amazing ability to get over it - we are fine.  seriously you give him 5 min and he is good - today took more like 1 hour!  

i am having a hard time spiritually.  I have a great need to understand and I do not right now.  I have high expectations (ask any 220 volunteer about that!) and they are being let down left and right.  I just need time to figure this out - i know you are big enough to handle this God.  or at least I have heard that cliche at a church before somewhere.  that is what I mean. those of us that have grown up around modern day american religion spit out cliches like that and actually believe them.  that one is pretty harmless and true but not all of them are.  so for now I will work this out.  I believe in God.  I believe in truth.  I know the truth is buried in me b/c every once in a while a bit of it finds its way to the surface of my thoughts.  but people, religion, idolatry, rational - they are all getting in the way and it will take time to sift through it.  

and when we all come out the other end of this we will be different.  thank God.

6 comments:

Tracey said...

Kelly,
I was glad to hear the good update on Kyle! I'm praising God for what He has done! Your story about Jack made me think about the song "Jesus Loves the Little Children". Jack is so precious and the reminder of what God's word says about child-like faith is wonderful. So I pray today... God, make Kyle better... and I know He will, in His time, which is so much better than ours.

Much love and prayers,
Tracey

Anonymous said...

I am overwhelmed with gratitude to the Lord for allowing Kyle to be one day older and one day closer to being home with his family! When Jack prayed "Kyle better", I am not sure if that is a statement, a request or a question. I am going to choose to take it as a statement. A statement of a child like innocence and unwavering faith. Jack said it best... Kyle is better.... better today than he was yesterday and he will continue to grow.

Kelly, you said one time that you don't like to ask for help or admit that you need help....(boy do I ever understand and relate to that)... maybe, just maybe you need to "let go and let God."

I will pray for you and John today.... I know this has to be so hard on you all trying to do it all.

Still praying, still believing and still expecting continued healing and growth. Thank you Lord!

Candy Humber

Anonymous said...

Still praying, still believing and still expecting continued healing and growth. Thank you Lord! .....

and, I can hardly wait to see photos of Kyle in his "big boy bed." *grin*

Candy Humber

Jana said...

I have no concept of trying to understand what's going on from your perspective and I have no children. I do know, though, about questioning the strength of my own faith. Sometimes it helps, even if only for a day, to imagine my stresses and concerns being unraveled from around my heart like ribbons and then hung on a cross. Sounds totally odd, I know, but I can almost feel it sometimes. I'm still here praying and KNOW Kyle is going to have an amazing story to tell several years from now. This verse, though totally appropriate, helps sometimes and doesn't others. It depends on the day, I guess, and whether or not I'm allowing myself to believe it. Allow yourself to believe it today.

For everyone who has been born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world — our faith.
—1 John 5:4

Anonymous said...

Wow what a roller coaster for you guys! Let's not fight too often okay :)
I am so excited about big boy bed too! That is amazing news. Everytime I read what you and John write - half the time my eyes are filled w/ tears. I am so happy there is more good news today for you! I can imagine the struggling w/ faith is hard on you. But I personally understand it 100%!
Stef

Anonymous said...

Good morning to both of you. I am praying today that the Lord will give you peace, a peace that can only come from Him. I pray that you and your boys have a good, restful day. I pray that Kyle will "hold his own" in his new bed.

Still praying, still believing and still expecting continued healing and growth. Thank you Lord for what you have done and what you are going to do!!

Candy Humber

Click below to go to my Personal March of Dimes Page

Our Story

This story begins with 5 people. John, Kelly, Jadon, Jack, and Kyle (he is only 23 weeks old... and he is still safely tucked away in his mommy's belly) In an hour's time Kyle made his way into the world. 1 pound, 3 ounces- 11 and a half inches long. This family will never be the same. This child is a warrior. He has the spirit of a Lion, and more courage than a whole pride. He is fierce, and fearless- and he is teaching us to fear the Lord- and to believe that God is in our midst and healing even now. Join us as pray, as we praise, and as we journey through this life as lovers of God and all His glory.

Kyle is in the March of Dimes Promo!