this therapist is amazing. she is so on top of things with kyle. I have only been doing kyle's stretches and massage since friday on his neck and already he is looking to the right when I carry him around. Likewise I have only been doing his tummy time therapy since friday and he pushed up on his elbows today on own his during tummy time. We are working on reaching out for toys and these will be our focuses for this month. as well as continuing to work on bringing his legs up to play with toes, fetal position, lots of stretching and massage.
Sarah - this physical therapist is so encouraging but also tells what she feels like is the truth. I asked if since we see him developing on a curve now and progressing and growing can we expect that to continue. She said yes and no. (who knew!) the yes was that we can always expect kyle to learn and continue learning. the no was that she said I have to remember that as we grow we are expected to preform tasks that require a higher and higher level of thinking - thinking with greater complexity. There is no way to tell now how this will go. the examples she gave me - I see kyle kicking his legs and he looks so much like perfect little 11 week old with no brain injury at all. so I just assume that crawling and walking will come. she explained in very interesting detail how much more than just muscle it takes to walk. also I see kyle tracking so well now but sarah commented that tracking objects and tracking fast enough to read with good reading comprehension is a different story. It makes it sound like she is what john and i like to call "negative nancy" but that is not the case at all. we had a great conversation.
I think that I just keep waiting to get to the place where all the doctors are checked off, all of our milestones are met, we are caught up and ready to go. Sarah very quickly reminded me that this will never be the case. Just b/c kyle is tracking now - he is too young to tell if he has any injury that will cause him trouble in tracking and reading so we will work on it. just in case. and the pressure of having to make some milestones this month to look towards walking in the future really is hard to balance with everyday living in joy. please forgive my rambling - I am really having a hard time processing this. I am hoping that some of you out there will give your 2 cents to me. The thought that kyle might not achieve ANY ONE of these goals I think is actually inconceivable to me. I do not understand how to process it. I know I don't have to right now. right now is for working hard. I guess what I am getting at is I am having a hard time just sitting in the "now". Working like crazy now - in case he needed it in the future.
Sarah shared stories with me on friday of kids she has worked with some that do amazing and some that do not. lots for me to process.
Sarah is great though - brilliant really. and I am very pleased with kyle's progress during his workouts - play time - therapy - whatever we want to call it. We have to do this 3 to 4 times a day. So every 3 hours includes: 1 bottle, burping and changing of course, infant massage, tummy time, several other various exercises that we mix and match, reaching for toys, neck stretches, as well as our arm and leg stretches independent play for exploration and then hopefully a 1:30 nap! that part is just kyle and not me! It seems like alot to me but I know from blog-land that there are SO many moms that are doing tons more - they are all an inspiration to me!
just one last thought - I now wonder if I have ever really let the lord take fear from me in my life or if it just always went away b/c whatever I placed my confidence in was winning. B/c I keep looking for someone to say - okay - kyle's done - he a regular kid - I am realizing that this part of my fairy-tale isn't coming. If I want to rest I will have to rest in the Lord. no choice. no other option.