I am going to let john give you the details - he is the gifted writer in our family. but I am writing b/c you guys hold me accountable to decompress at the end of each day. I love that one day I will have all of this in writing - the whole story of a miracle - on paper. b/c if it were not for so many of you sending encouraging thoughts - and I read and I am moved and encouraged by EACH ONE - and asking for the next blog I would not be consistent to type out my feelings.
Kyle had an amazing day today. HE ATE! (i'm sure john will give details) - Kyle is holding all his numbers and the doctors again shrug their shoulders and say they are pleasantly surprised.
I think today has been the hardest day yet - can't really put my finger on why - other than the air here in my reality seems to be thin.
I spent the morning with jadon and jack in the back yard playing - remembering of course that I can't hardly move yet - walking takes effort! Then we played and fed jack lunch and I even got to put him down for his nap - then I race out the door to see kyle - stoping for a time of prayer at one of our church families - that was amazing - but at the same time - difficult. As I get to kyle - I have to pump - 20 minutes and I produce 3 ml. for those of you that get that you will know why that adds to my hurt. Then Kyle goes through his first feed - never been so nervous - has a blockage in a tube they had to get out - was schooled on infections and how dangerous they are - (and really it is hard to explain how hard this is to go through as i was feeling it) then as I get him tucked into bed - safe and sound after a really great day - we sing and pray and I head home - only to find out that Jadon misses me. and at that moment the air is no longer thin - it is gone. Of course he misses me but I realized tonight that I can't save my little lion, I can't make jadon and jack feel assured that they are safe and loved by me. I just can't do it - no matter how early I get up - how hard I try to hide and seek or play cars - how much I pray by kyle's bed or how much I pump or how many songs I sing to him.
In my weakness he will be made strong.
The joy of the Lord is my strength.
The righteous face many troubles but the Lord rescues them from each and every one
I will praise the Lord at all times
let all who are discouraged take heart
I prayed to the Lord and he answered me freeing me from all my fears.
PLEASE keep praying for protection from infection
PLEASE pray for my body to produce the milk kyle needs
PLEASE pray for protection for Kyle's brain and no bleeds
Thank you. Kyle did awesome today - He is a courageous little lion!
Kyle's NICU Story in Pictures
9 comments:
your family is in my prayers. My brother's name is Kyle and in Yiddish it means Victorious. I pray that little Kyle is victorious in this battle. With the Lord there is victory.
You are an absolutely amazing woman that we all love and admire for all that you have done and are doing. Please know that you give us all strength for our daily lives too. While John is a GREAT writer, your writing is also wonderful. Thanks for sharing your lives with us. Our prayers for Kyle and all of you continue. Love, Linda
Preemie Baby Prayer
Author Unknown
God bless the little child behind the plastic wall For all he knows is the ringing of the bells and the blurred images around him. He has been taken from my womb without warning and I long to hold him in my arms.
Lord, I ask in your name that my child be healed. I am willing to accept your decision no matter what it will be. I am willing to take on the responsibilities for caring for this child. I am willing to give this child love and understanding no matter the cost.
Please Lord help me to accept reality and what has happened without explanation or warning. Help me face the fact that this is not my fault and that I was given a special task to complete here on Earth.
God give my child the strength to make it through another second, minute, hour and day as each moment is a blessing and a triumph from heaven.
God, may you give the strength and compassion to the caregivers and nurses that take care of my child May you keep my child protected and free from all injury and pain.
Please take away the guilt and burden from my heart dear Lord. It is heavy and I feel it is all my fault. Take it away dear Lord. Sweet Jesus allow me the stregnth and understanding I need to communicate with the Doctors and Nurses.
As you see dear Lord, I am at your mercy for the life of my child. Please leave him here on Earth and know that I will provide all the love and understanding that this child needs. I accept the challenge and will be your humble servant dear Lord.
This is the prayer that I prayed with Audrie everynight before leaving the NICU. Hope it helps!
Kelly, you know that the reason the boys miss you so much is because you are such a good mom! I completely relate to the pumping, and while I've not been in this exact situation, it does get better as your body gets used to it. I am SO glad that Kyle ate yesterday and am praying for each milestone every day. Do keep blogging, as you are telling Kyle's story that he cannot yet tell for himself, even when it's a difficult day. I love that the doctor's are shrugging their shoulders because medicine cannot explain the miracles that God is working. We will pray for those miracles to continue.
Sarah Bible
John and Kelly, You may not remember me but my wife and I are good friends with Brandon and Shauna. This morning I woke up for my quiet time and during my jog as I was praying for you guys and baby Kyle the Lord gave me a vision.
The delivery room was moving slow motion packed with nurses and doctors moving about doing their task in a frantic. John you stood toward the front of the room beside the door watching Kelly with great concern. All around the room Demons stood with swords drawn waiting for baby Kyle to arrive. Kelly was in great agony pushing though the labor pains. When the time came for Kyle to arrive the demons all stood on there toes, as if to see who would get to strike first. John you began to pray, and out of Kelly's womb thousands of Angels flooded. The nurses and doctors all froze unaware of the spiritual battle, but the room became much more chaotic from the warfare than the natural movement could ever have been. The demons were caught off guard and fled in fright. Running over each other trying to get though the door. John you turned toward the door with a grin as if you could see them leaving the room in their panic. They fled the hospital and the word quickly spread throughout the building that the angels were there. Demons in rooms on all the floors began to panic. They ran leaping out windows or bursting through the closest exits. The Angels retreated back into the delivery room to stand where the demons once stood. John you continued to pray and Kelly continued in agony. I then heard the Spirit speak into my spirit saying, "With great agony beauty is born." Right then the hand of Christ appeared out stretched over the hospital. Blood began to pour out of his scar completely covering the building. I thought of the beauty that was born from his labor on the cross. Right then Kyle was born. John you and Kelly were still in concern but the crowd of witnesses burst into joy. They where jumping and cheering patting each other on the back. The voice spoke again saying, "All of heaven rejoices when one is born into the Kingdom. How much more does it rejoice when one is born into the natural who will send many to the Father." The last image I saw was the Hospital. It was not just covered in still blood, but blood was bubbling out of the center of the building. Flowing down the sides like a fountain completely covering it.
Be encouraged, remember, and don't be fooled God will not be mocked! He said what so ever a man sows, he will reap. That is a word that should give great encouragement to your family. If there are any people in the world that have sown life to others, it is you two. You guys have sown the better of the two lives. What could be greater than spiritual life? The body will die, but your seed is everlasting. Kyle has a future of hope and prosperity in every fashion of this life. We are the enforcers of truth in this present world. Speak the word and stand in faith on the promises of God, which are yes and amen for you two. If ill reports come, which they always do, crush them with the word and know that there are people standing with you. Kelly if you get tired, rest knowing that our advocate will not. I know you two know all this but sometimes it is nice to hear your not alone. Your not.
I pray that our Lord will continue to strengthen your entire family. With love..Peace to you and yours.
How beautiful and amazing what Wes shared. I remember trying to pump and getting 1 or 2 ml and crying and asking the Lord to help... wanting so badly to be a "good mom" and be able to provide for Grace in that way. That vulnerable weak inadequate feeling... I remember it well. And, like the scripture you shared, the only thing that gave me comfort was knowing that in our weakness HE IS STRONG. I had never felt so weak... and so I just prayed that He would be stronger than I'd ever known Him to be. Love you guys so much and praying. Maybe you can only produce a tiny bit because Kyle can only take in a tiny bit. Even this - I know with certaintly - the Lord has not forgotten and holds in the palm of His hand. We will all see the victory of the Lord in this battle you are fighting. I pray peace and rest for you and John, miraculous healing and development for your little lion, and joy, peace, and contentment for Jadon and Jack. Those beautiful little men - I know how much you love them.
Praise God!
still praying...
I just want to say for the record, that you need to quit saying you aren't a gifted writer. You paint the most vivid picture with words. You describe raw emotion in a way that makes the reader ache with you, or rejoice with you, or celebrate with you, or humbly seek God's strength with you.
I am amazed at ALL that God has gifted you with, including writing.
(But I do think it's nice that you give John such credit!)
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