I am going to let john give you the details - he is the gifted writer in our family. but I am writing b/c you guys hold me accountable to decompress at the end of each day. I love that one day I will have all of this in writing - the whole story of a miracle - on paper. b/c if it were not for so many of you sending encouraging thoughts - and I read and I am moved and encouraged by EACH ONE - and asking for the next blog I would not be consistent to type out my feelings.
Kyle had an amazing day today. HE ATE! (i'm sure john will give details) - Kyle is holding all his numbers and the doctors again shrug their shoulders and say they are pleasantly surprised.
I think today has been the hardest day yet - can't really put my finger on why - other than the air here in my reality seems to be thin.
I spent the morning with jadon and jack in the back yard playing - remembering of course that I can't hardly move yet - walking takes effort! Then we played and fed jack lunch and I even got to put him down for his nap - then I race out the door to see kyle - stoping for a time of prayer at one of our church families - that was amazing - but at the same time - difficult. As I get to kyle - I have to pump - 20 minutes and I produce 3 ml. for those of you that get that you will know why that adds to my hurt. Then Kyle goes through his first feed - never been so nervous - has a blockage in a tube they had to get out - was schooled on infections and how dangerous they are - (and really it is hard to explain how hard this is to go through as i was feeling it) then as I get him tucked into bed - safe and sound after a really great day - we sing and pray and I head home - only to find out that Jadon misses me. and at that moment the air is no longer thin - it is gone. Of course he misses me but I realized tonight that I can't save my little lion, I can't make jadon and jack feel assured that they are safe and loved by me. I just can't do it - no matter how early I get up - how hard I try to hide and seek or play cars - how much I pray by kyle's bed or how much I pump or how many songs I sing to him.
In my weakness he will be made strong.
The joy of the Lord is my strength.
The righteous face many troubles but the Lord rescues them from each and every one
I will praise the Lord at all times
let all who are discouraged take heart
I prayed to the Lord and he answered me freeing me from all my fears.
PLEASE keep praying for protection from infection
PLEASE pray for my body to produce the milk kyle needs
PLEASE pray for protection for Kyle's brain and no bleeds
Thank you. Kyle did awesome today - He is a courageous little lion!
- John and Kelly
- This story begins with 5 people. John, Kelly, Jadon, Jack, and Kyle (he is only 23 weeks old... and he is still safely tucked away in his mommy's belly) In an hour's time Kyle made his way into the world. 1 pound, 3 ounces- 11 and a half inches long. This family will never be the same. This child is a warrior. He has the spirit of a Lion, and more courage than a whole pride. He is fierce, and fearless- and he is teaching us to fear the Lord- and to believe that God is in our midst and healing even now. Join us as pray, as we praise, and as we journey through this life as lovers of God and all His glory.