11/10 - Kelly

As you can imagine I have recieved much advice over the past 19 days.

Hang on.. speaking of 19 days ... each morning when we meet with the doctors over rounds, our NP is presenting Kyle to the Attending doctor and they always start out the same. "Kyle Sherrill, day of life 19" or what ever day it is. This morning that statement really hit me - It has been 19 days since he was born! He is almost 3 weeks old! On one hand I couldn't believe he was already 19 days old. I couldn't believe that 3 weeks have flown by. on the other hand - I can't believe it has only been 19 days that we are only 3 weeks into this journey. Part of me wants to wonder how I will make it, how my husband will withstand, and how Jadon and Jack will endure for so many more. I am starting to feel what john talked about when he bloged about life going on for others. Our life goes on too - it is just so different. I guess in someways I feel left behind or incomplete. maybe under construction would be a better way to describe it. but God is so good b/c ... back to the advice comment from above...

I have received much advice - little that I have taken, and heard many stories, many of which I never needed to hear! - but to each I have this response inside that i usually keep to myself (working on being PC here) ANYWAY - but tonight I spoke to my friend and she was sharing about when her husband read the blog about kyle's brain scan. She said he was just about doing cartwheels around the house. He has some advice for me and for everyone really. BELIEVE! Pray and believe. He said that all he could do from where he was ... was pray and believe. and then he said this "Even if were the only one that begged God to save Kyle and believed he will - it would be enough." He said he wished he could look at john and I and tell us that every second. so that we could know.

it was then I realized that my fear really is a spiritual battle; a robbery of my belief. another friend shared with me the story of Elijah the other day and how he poured water on his offering and called on the Lord to set it on fire. God did. In the next passage or so this same man who has experienced the AWESOME POWER of GOD is running for his life - literaly - in fear.

and what she said was that God is the same - His is constant, powerful, faithful to his own character - We are the ones that waiver, we are the ones that are not constant. I have seen the Lord to miracles. I have seen Him heal. I have seen the AWESOME POWER of GOD. and so now how can I run in fear? How is it possible that I (ME - the one who has seen God display his power) could be tormented with fear. but it is true - I battle with terror several times a day.

We are the ones that change - but I do believe. I believe that God ordains our days. That Kyle's life ... every breath... is a testimony of God's goodness. I believe that God will heal and restore our fierce little lion.

so back to my friend's husband - he said he will not rob God of the praise for His miracles! so this advice I will take! I will stand on the mountain top and shout "GOD IS HEALING MY SON".

Thank you Lord for protecting Kyle's brain, thank you Lord that you have caused the heart clot to go down in size, thank you Lord that you have given him a day of rest today for his lungs. Thank you that you are graciously answering our prayers.

enough for today we can end in thanks giving - and thanks for listening!