FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 02, 2007 01:30 AM, CDT
Act 9:15 -16
But the Lord said to him, “Go, for he is a chosen instrument of mine to carry my name before the Gentiles and kings and the children of Israel.
“For I will show him how much he must suffer for the sake of my name.”
So the rest of the story goes like this… Ananias went to Saul in obedience and layed his hands on him. The result? The scales fell from Saul’s eyes, he was filled with the holy spirit, he rose, was fed, strengthened, and went to declare the glory of God.
That is the short version.
Today, was a day that I wish we could forget. Don’t get me wrong.
Some may say, what about Monday, Oct. 22?… I would say that Oct. 22
was a beautiful but very hard day. Beautiful because I got to meet Kyle face to face. Hard because I realized that he was too early… and I had no idea what that would look like for his sake. Hard because, I knew that this would be devastating for our family emotionally. But, still beautiful because Kyle is truly
amazing. I could go on and on… but I want to get to the point…
Today, some of our worst fears were realized,… and we won’t know until tomorrow just how severe they may or may not be.
They confirmed IVH – a brain bleed on his right side.
They felt strong of infection, possibly pneumonia
They spoke of his respiration and his lungs not working well due to immaturity…
They are still administering the last dosage of the PDA medicine
They checked him with an EEG for possible seizures
This day, I could have done without… but in some way, I still know, this is God.
I had a breakdown today where I seemingly got a little angry with God.
I mean, while I do want God to use us (our family) to help destroy the little boxes we tend to put God into in our churches, culture, etc… I just got overwhelmed that He was choosing to use my 24 week old baby to do so.
I am truly humbled at the outpouring of encouragement and to see how people’s lives are being changed and how people’s faith is being expanded, and it is all
Because God wants and is using a 1 pound little boy named Kyle.
My little boy… Ok,… really…God’s little boy he is letting me have the privilege to raise up. I just had a breakdown and couldn’t reconcile that in my head.
I immediately thought about Abraham and Issac.
Abraham taking Issac up to worship and sacrifice.
About half way to the destination, Issac realizes dad has no animal.
Abraham steady in his obedience, even encouraging Issac that all would work out. BUT Abraham still ready to sacrifice his own for the pleasure of God, and for the sake of obedience.
I thought about Jesus, being God’s own son… I thought about Isaiah 53.
I thought about Matthew 26. I thought about God turning his back on Jesus.
I thought about Eloi Eloi… Lama Sabachthani…. I might have messed that up…
Give me a break,… it was from memory at like 1 in the am…
Basically, Jesus crying out, Father why have you forsaken me?
(PS… forgive my typos tonight…)
These are all things I truly stewed over today…
And while I know my little boy isn’t the Savior of the world part 2, and he isn’t going to any cross for anyone to redeem them,… he is carrying his own cross that God has handed him for now and giving God glory in it.
That hurts me to see.
That had to hurt Abraham.
That had to hurt God.
It devastates me. It humbles me. It makes me thankful.
So, for the sake of the glory of God… so be it.
I am praying LET THIS CUP PASS FROM US GOD… I am begging God.
I am BEGGING God. We are begging God.
Please, let this cup pass from us…
But never the less, not my will be done, but Yours.
Matt 26. This is the cross. This is Christ Followship.
It isn’t easy. If it is easy, it’s empty.
Kyle is an instrument. His life is making more beautiful music than I ever will.
(sad, b/c that is my profession)… : )
But… his life is an instrument in the hands of a masterful and excellent maestro.
I am doing my best to trust You God.
Would you please continue praying with us?
Pray specifically today for supernatural miracles to happen.
Pray that God brings devine healing. That Kyle would be filled with the Holy Spirit, and that the scales would fall… that He would rise up in strength,
And be renewed. That he would be able to be nourished,… so that
He can continue to declare the glory of God--- in even more bold ways.
I am so incredibly humbled by him.
Kyle's NICU Story in Pictures
16 comments:
I was sleeping, but have awaken and had to come check on what seems to be becoming OUR baby. I feel a love for that little guy and a bond that I can't explain. My heart aches for all of you and my prayers continue to go up to OUR FATHER in the name of JESUS CHRIST, asking for healing of baby Kyle. Our family wants you to know that you have our love, our prayers, our compassion. If there is anything at all that our family can do for your family, PLEASE, just let us know...
We are right here...
Love,
LeAnn
Father I pray that you would please heal Kyle. I know you hear every prayer, every request, every cry, every whisper. I know that you have listened to each and every person who has been praying. I know it is as if you are alone with each person listening in that intimate moment and nothing can distract you from what is being said to you. You know all of our hearts hurt right now. We are confused, unsure, and powerless. It is how you made us, but understanding that doesn't help. WE again come to you depending on what you are able to do, the miraclulous. Please Lord, heal him. Make him strong and perfect in every way, physically, mentally, and emotionally. Give John and Kelly needed encouragement and strength. Meet every need and every request they have Father. It is in the name of Jesus I pray.
Amen
Dearest John & Kelly,
This is Amy Payne (Busti). We just wanted you to know that Tony and I, as well as our children, our church and our whole home school co-op are praying for you daily! My children are especially diligent in praying for little Kyle.
The verse I am praying for you today is Exodus 14:13,14 "Moses answered the people, 'DO NOT BE AFRAID. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today...THE LORD WILL FIGHT FOR YOU. YOU NEED ONLY TO BE STILL."
May Kyle's life go down in medical history as a HUGE miracle. To God be the glory!
Love, Amy and Family
You give me so much hope and your words have made me get down and worship our God...thank you John, Kelly, Kyle, and the rest of your family. God will truly get glorified in this situation.
Still praying for Kyle.... without ceasing.
John and Kelly -
We are praying with you guys like crazy. We believe God is doing a mighty work and "all will see how great, how great is our GOd." We love you guys so much. I was listening to KSBJ the other day on my way to work and they played this clip from a 12 year old boy from Nebraska, or somewhere, anyways it made me think og you guys. I began to weep for you.I began to pray that God would lay His mighty, powerful, healing on Kyle. So all will see how grat He is. SO we continue to pray for you and your family. If you get a sec. go to ksbj.org - click on shows - go to morning show and then click in the link - something like Logan from Nebraska - and listen. It's only about 2.5 min long, but it is HUGE! lOVe you guys
Jon and Jenn Ellis & Baby Zacary
I have no idea what you and Kelly must be going through. The highs and lows that occur minute to minute would have to be brutal. I do know that I am witnessing a faith that is difficult for me to grasp as well as an awakening of emotions in myself an others whose hearts have been hardened. I admire you guys and thank you.
Kyle is God's work and I thank God for him. Thy will be done on earth as it is in Heaven.
I Love You Guys
Saying prayers for Kyle and your beautiful family.
John, Kelly, and boys,
I am praying for your family!! I hope you know just how strong you are! God will see you through every bit of this painful time.
"May he bless you, and keep you, and may his face to shine upon you, and give you peace."
You are right John. Kyle is an instrument of God, and God is good. I will pray for him with all of my heart and soul. Though I fear that it won't compare to the heart and soul exhibited by you and your family. Your courageousness is truly inspiring and your faith has been tested, tried, and true.
God Bless,
John & Kelly (Kyle too),
I couldn't help but feel that you need to have your oldest son (both, if comfortable) pray over Kyle. There is such a sweetness and power in the prayers of a child. They are unencumbered by the weight of the world and the baggage it leaves us adults.
Keep praising the King. He will carry you thru this.
I just received an email with a link to your blog. I am in awe of your strength, courage, and faith. I will pray for your beautiful blessing,Kyle, and for your family's strength. Kyle is beautiful...He brought a huge smile to my face when I thought about what a miracle he is and tears came to my eyes when I thought of how lucky he is to have a faithful mother like you. I will pray, pray, pray...
I call, You hear me
I’ve lost it all
And it’s more than I can bear
I feel so empty
You’re strong
I’m weary
I’m holdin’ on
But I feel like givin’ in
But still You’re with me
chorus:
And even though I’m walkin’ through The valley of the shadow
I will hold tight to the hand of Him
Whose love will comfort me
And when all hope is gone
And I’ve been wounded in the battle
He is all the strength that I will
Ever need
And He will carry me
I know I’m broken
But You alone
Can mend this heart of mine
You’re always with me
chorus
And even though I feel so lonely
Like I’ve never been before
You never said it would be easy
But You said you’d see me through
The storm
chorus
Carry Me by Mark Schultz
i am begging God with you each day.
This post is amazing John. And I pray for you, your family, your wife, and your amazing little Kyle.
I cannot imagine your hurt and am empowered by the faith God has given you to look at Abraham, Jesus, and the cross.
Keep trusting God... he is always faithful. He loves Kyle more than anyone else ever could. He not only sees your hurt, but he goes through it with you.
I praise God he is with you.
I praise God that you have gotten to experience the love of the community of faith in a way unknown by most people.
I praise God that people are reading your blog, praying for you, and for Kyle.
I praise God that he knows the end from the beginning and that he WILL be faithful to bring you all through and establish His banner of love over you again.
There are so many boxes that God gets put in. I pray he stays out of all of them, and that he shows his perfectly glorious name in the life of Kyle, and all those who are loving him.
Still praying,
Bill
I had a dream last night that Kyle was a healthy toddler and that I was holding him and he was smiling and laughing. I woke up with a smile on my face and I felt encouraged. I hope this encourages you too. I can't wait til I get to babysit him one day!
Your boys mean so much to me! I love getting to babysit them and playing all the entertaining games Jadon comes up with.
Know that I am praying for both of you, for Kyle, for Jadon & Jack, for everyone taking care of Jadon & Jack, for all of the medical people caring for Kyle, for God to perform an incredible miracle, and for God to be glorified through all of this.
I love you guys!
Post a Comment