People often tell me how much they appreciate the fact that I am part of the Nannying Team that cares for Jack and Jadon. While I smile and say thank you, I really think to myself, it's only because I COULDN'T do the Hospital Support Team very well. It is really out of selfish protection that I choose Jadon and Jack's care over John, Kelly and Kyle's.
But once a week I go to the hospital. If I am honest with you, I hate going. The days that I go drain me emotionally and make me physically ache, physically. I don't truthfully know how parents in the NICU ride the roller coaster. In one day I watched Kyle struggle for breath more times than I could count. I watched his nurses have to make decisions about how much oxygen to give him, understanding that if they give him too much for too long, he could be blinded because of it, but also understanding that if they don't give him enough, he can suffer brain damage because of it. Multiple times throughout EVERY day, they are making these kinds of decisions. And John and Kelly watch.
But I go. Even though I had to stop and throw up on the way home because of how physically the visit affected me last time. I go. I go because I need to be reminded that all of this is real. It is about a real baby, in a real struggle for life. It isn't just a blog or a story to follow. It is REAL. When I pray over him directly,in real time, it changes the way I pray.
And I go. I go because each week I see his progress and it reminds me of the joy of the Lord. The creator God. Kyle's skin is the prettiest little pink color now. His hair has grown and is a gorgeous brown. His eyes are opened. And each time I go, so are mine.
So I go. If you are reading this today, I am not asking you to go to the hospital. Kyle can't have that many visitors anyway. What I am asking you to do is to REMEMBER, this is a story about a real baby, a real set of parents, two real little boys at home, a real family. And PRAY like it is real!
Kyle's NICU Story in Pictures
6 comments:
Thanks Carol...
What a beautiful and honest reminder! It is sort of "safe" to read this and pray for this behind the computer screen, isn't it?...
We are still here and we are still praying, for a real baby and a real family.
Malachi 3:3 says: "He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver."
This verse puzzled some women in a Bible study and they wondered what this statement meant about the character and nature of God.
One of the women offered to find out the process of refining silver and get back to the group at their next Bible Study.
That week, the woman called a silversmith and made an appointment to watch him at work. She didn't mention anything about the reason for her interest beyond her curiosity about the process of refining Silver.
As she watched the silversmith, he held a piece of silver over the fire and let it heat up. He explained that in refining silver, one needed to hold the silver in the middle of the fire where the flames were hottest as to burn away all the impurities.
The woman thought about God holding us in such a hot spot; then she thought again about the verse that says: "He sits as a refiner and purifier of silver." She asked the silversmith if it was true that he had to sit there in front of the fire the whole time the silver was being refined.
The man answered that yes, he not only had to sit there holding the silver, but he had to keep his eyes on the silver the entire time it was in the fire. If the silver was left a moment too long in the flames, it would be destroyed.
The woman was silent for a moment. Then she asked the silversmith, "How do you know when the silver is fully refined?"
He smiled at her and answered, "Oh, that's easy -- when I see my image in it."
If today you are feeling the heat of the fire , remember that God has his eye on you and will keep watching you until He sees His image in you.
Pass this on right now. This very moment, someone needs to know that God is watching over them.
And, whatever they're going through, they'll be a better person in the end.
"Life is a coin. You can spend it anyway you wish, but you can only spend it once."
__,_._,___ Ps: '...Psalms 40 verse 1 says: I waited patiently for the Lord, and He inclined to me, and heard my cry...'
Dear Sherrills,
I live in CA, my daughter and grandchildren live in AL and she shared your blog with us. I am and will continue to pray with and for you and to see complete healing for Kyle. I know God perfects us, I know He sees Kyle AS HE CREATED him to be, and I know He loves you all far beyond what you can even experience right now in your rawness.
Hang on to Him. Cling to Him and to one another, He will walk with you and never forsake you.
Much loving compassion,
Helen Wiederkehr
Thousand Oaks, CA
Carol, I dont know you and may never meet you. However, I want to say thank you for sharing with us and thank you for sharing your life with John, Kelly, Jadon, Jack and Kyle. They are truly blessed to have someone like you to help out. God bless you for what you are doing!
Carol,
Thank you for the time that you are investing in Jadon, Jack, John, Kelly and Kyle. Your commitment is not cowardly, not self-preserving. You are becoming more and more emotionally invested than any of us on this side of the screen. Your act of service to John and Kelly relieves some of the strain of leaving their little guys each day...helps them have some semblence of comfort that Jadon and Jack are with someone that LOVES them...not just someone that is taking care of them as a duty. You are being Jesus-with-skin-on to the Sherrills. You may think that you are protecting your own heart...but you are protecting your dear friends'. From all of us that pray that we can do something meaningful...something past praying...Thank you.
Carol - thank you for sharing the reality of your thoughts and emotions as a caregiver and friend. Please know that our prayers include ALL of you who so unselfishly give and provide - watch and wait - listen and smile - wash the little hands - hold the big hands. Thanks for helping to keep our eyes open.
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