It has been so long since I have posted anything. The month of kyle's birth - or birthday - just reliving that... i thought I couldn't share about it but I will - I will for the sake of honesty, for the chance that some one else is like me and not living in a perfect mind that exists in a perfect world being seen by her perfect children and family and blogging about all perfection in her perfect blog. Wow - as I read that line I'm laughing b/c it sounds so bitter - haha - but really it is not bitterness. I think it is moving towards healing. really - I exist in a new world - one that begins in my mind and extends outward through my husband, my children, my awareness, my religion, my relationships. all is changing. I'm just realizing so much - in an effort to heal - in an effort to get better. maybe I shouldn't judge, mabye the blogs that i have read or the lives I have watched maybe they are not fake. maybe they are trying - wanting it all to work to be perfect - to get better. That is what I have wanted. I would, with all the tenacity I could muster, wake up, plant my feet firm in my day and then in one movemet, one word or phrase or phone call or anything it would all fall to pieces - then I would try again and again and again. sometimes trying just isn't enough. the most valuable thing I have learned in the past month is this... fixing isn't it. we don't need to be fixed. we don't need to fix each other. we need to have compasion and grace and love for ourselves and for others.
so that is my growing for now...
here is kyle's growing...
He is 12 months old (WOW!), 8 months corrected. He is eating stage 3 baby food, crackers, cheerios, and drinks from a straw. He can sit up, roll over, is crawling (his own version anyway!), and chatting up a storm! We are working on fine motor skils and following one word directions. Pictures speak a thousand words! Soooo...
Kyle was a lion for halloween (which during RSV season consisted of dressing up on the day of jadon and jack's festival at school and taking pics on the back porch!)
We also had Luke Skywalker and a construction worker!
Kyle was so sleepy - he fell asleep in his mega saucer! He LOVES this and will dive out of your arms if you are standing over it! For therapy reasons he can only be in it about 20 min a day! I guess absense really does make the heart grow fonder!
Kyle after toast and jelly!
Kyle can drink out of a straw now!
Kyle eats ritz crackers, cheerios and graham crackers!
Kyle was a lion for halloween (which during RSV season consisted of dressing up on the day of jadon and jack's festival at school and taking pics on the back porch!)
We also had Luke Skywalker and a construction worker!
Kyle was so sleepy - he fell asleep in his mega saucer! He LOVES this and will dive out of your arms if you are standing over it! For therapy reasons he can only be in it about 20 min a day! I guess absense really does make the heart grow fonder!
Kyle after toast and jelly!
Kyle can drink out of a straw now!
Kyle eats ritz crackers, cheerios and graham crackers!
15 comments:
Kelly, your words of honesty are very meaningful and I thank you for them. Your family is beautiful and I am constantly praising God for His work in Kyle!!
Kim McDonald
I am glad you posted on my birthday! I miss your posts :) but life w/ kids - what is spare time right?
The roof is looking good at your house. They should be done today it looks like.
Stefanie
Kelly, thank you so much for continuing to share your heart with us....Your honesty, and your story IS helping others.
The pictures are just adorable! :)
What a precious gift you have been given. I love that you are so honest. I love that your thoughts are so raw. Your emotions are not hidden beneath a plastic smile that reflects no pain at all. You are real and your real-ness helps encourage healing in others. Your real-ness teaches others and sets a good example of how we should be. I think if we all walked around with plastic smiles to eachother then we would all also be in danger of doing that in our relationship with our creator- with the one who gave you that amazing blue-eyed angel. I love that you are so open, but what I love most is that in your openness, you, like King David, have suffered, recovered, sufferred more, and through it all, God's name has been given all honor and glory and you have grown so much! God has really done a work in your family through this and you have been a light (even in your sufferring) to others, encouraging them (us), leading them (us). You are such a blessing... and I don't even know you. :)
Kelly, he is just beautiful. The first birthday was a turning point for us. So many emotions were running through my head the weeks around the boys birthday. All three of your boys are just so handsome.
Cathy Chisler
I wrote the other day that real friends don't try to give us the answers to our questions, they try to help us ask better questions.
I love you and loved seeing the pictures of the boys.
Congratulations on survival! I learned long ago that the lives of others are rarely as perfect as we picture... however, micropreemie moms experience this on a whole new level! Here's to survival.. from one woman living with a seriously less than perfect mind to another!
XOXO,
Kelly Espinoza
Hey there Kelly! Thank you once again for sharing your life with us all. Every time you share your heart as you did in this blog I see how God is growing you to become all that He wants you to be. A part of that growth I believe is the testimony that you are to others who read your blog. Your words are encoraging to others... even those of us who have never been through the same trials that you have been through.
I love the pictures! What a fitting costume for your little lion! You have three beautiful boys Kelly and I know that you are thankful to God for your sweet family.
Much Love and Prayers,
Tracey H.
All 3 boys look absolutely adorable, especially your little lion! :) Love and miss you guys very much!
-Robin-
John & Kelly, Kyle is such a cute boy. He is also on the eating schedule way ahead of my 9mth old nephew, have pics on Facebook of him. Wish you would come to Huntsville and show Kyle around too. Love, Charlotte Efird
SO good to hear from you on here! Reliving the birth on that first year anniversary is tough and I think we go through it every year, just in a different way. Healing is good, everything you mentioned is good.
Kyle looks awesome! THE cutest and BRAVEST lion there ever was!!
We were blessed to meet some of your family out to eat the other day, and what a priviledge! I know it's hard to stay in isolation when everyone's life is normal, but "this too shall pass". Kyle is a hero to many, and so are his mom & dad! Keep up the good work! I check in occasionally and love to see those bright blue eyes!
Bobbi Jo Wells
i love you sister...
here is to healing...
may campasion arise from us...
that is what i'm begging.
shauna
Oh my the boys are so cute... what a fun & memorable Halloween! And I absolutely love the pic of Kyle zonked out on his play bouncer! How sweet is that !! This will be a BIG Christmas - - I'm excited just thinking of your house on Christmas Eve & Morning!! Love & hugs ~ GranMammy B
Barbie Weller
North Dallas
"would, with all the tenacity I could muster, wake up, plant my feet firm in my day and then in one movemet, one word or phrase or phone call or anything it would all fall to pieces - then I would try again and again and again. sometimes trying just isn't enough. the most valuable thing I have learned in the past month is this... fixing isn't it. we don't need to be fixed. we don't need to fix each other. we need to have compasion and grace and love for ourselves and for others."
I love your words. I understand them like they could be my own. Oh, Kelly. I understand.
Somewhere in your writing you question if it will all be worth it. I understand that too. I believe it will. That it is. But that nothing is promised in return.
As a mother of 2 young children, who struggles everyday of her life to be patient and grounded, I'm figuring out what an incredible thing it is to ACCEPT . I'm far from that. Instead, I often fight.
I can't tell you how much women like you are needed in another woman's life. To know someone shares your struggle, is not perfect, does not pretend to be, but strives to be more- is...just all I need today.
Sometimes after my great struggle this year, I came closer to realizing what you said- I don't "need to be fixed". When I remember that, I soar. When I forget, I feel heavy and uncreative.
I'm thankful for your example today.
And I am moved to tears to hear about and see pictures of a strong, precious, lively Kyle. No words fit. Just...wow.
Post a Comment