then last night I stumble to a website I have checked frequently and I find a mom - an amazing mom - that attends 8 therapy sessions a week for one of her sons. she has picture after picture of him and video too and she speaks of how proud she is of him and his attitude and how hard he works and all I could think was how I am just sitting like I am mourning what might never be instead of fighting for this little lion that GOD entrusted to ME.
what a wake up call - the other part is I go from listening to everyone tell me that he is going to be fine. just fine. and then I see other mom's well - just this one actually - who LOVES the lord and prays over her children very specifically and she works so hard for them - therapy after therapy and I realize - Him being "fine" may not come from all of these doc appointments and constant watching and working with him going away. it may come from YES God healing him but I am learning that restoration doesn't always look like we want it to or what we think it might look like.
I get caught up in listening to people around me that have never been through this that want to speak life into me but it ends up making me doubt that I should be doing anything - it is like I get on board with them and think - ya - it will be great when all this is back to normal.
I have got to wake up, realize that the "normal" or "natural" or whatever sucks anyway; step back into the supernatural and FIGHT.
here is my first act in battle: I Cor 10:15 - (my translation) "For the weapons of our warfare are mighty in God and useful for pulling down strongholds and casting down vain imagination."
-bring all of these thoughts into captivity.