looking back I would have known something was wrong. this must be where the guilt and "if only"s comes from. The earliest memory I had was the wednesday before kyle was born. I was in my kickboxing class (don't laugh) and had just finished. I was unusually worn out. nothing big - just tired. this persisted for several days. I chalked it up to being pregnant and having 2 other active boys. so did everyone else. The next day was thursday - we had some friends over that night to play monopoly (again - don't laugh - it's fun!) - I was having Braxton-Hicks contractions - so I thought - and honestly probably was but just thought I should drink more water (dehydration can make you have them, they can also be completely normal). I was even fussing at john b/c I didn't think that he believed me that I was having them. (girls!) Then the next day was friday - guys might want to skip ahead a few lines - I had an unusual amount of discharge all day. - don't get mad at me... I told you to skip ahead!! I even described it to a friend that if I didn't know better I would have thought I lost my mucous plug.
seriously! - %^&W!!$%#%!@)$ - I should have not taken everything so lightly. but I didn't want to page my doctor when I had this same amount of discharge with other pregnancies and went in b/c I thought my water was leaking and been fine. also ask anyone who had ever been pregnant - you leak. why am i trying so hard to justify this to myself!!!!!!!!!!!!
anyway - the next day the discharge was better and then sunday I wen to my nephew's b-day party in huntsville. When I go there John's sister always cooks great food! nothing fancy but she doesn't hold back - if you have hot dogs you get it with all the trimmings and if we have cake we get ice cream too! Plus almost anytime we go up she has made us brownies or she or john's mom has made a lady bird cake! [if you do not know what this is.... save yourself! and find out - it is amazing. anyway - so I like to eat when I am up there!!! so I had pizza at the party, soda, came home to a hot dog dinner, complete with chips and beans! and then moved on to birthday cake and ice cream but later had some of the lady bird cake! like i said - it is heaven!
one more strange thing for that night - I was so spent - could not move and even had john bath all the kids with his sister b/c I just couldn't do it. I laid on the couch for the rest of the night. I did not feel sick just really tired and ache in my shoulders.
so you can see why i woke monday morning and thought it was completely normal to have some back pain and feel like i needed to poop!
I went back to bed and then was up 30 minutes later and was bleeding just a bit. I had already planned on calling Dr. Ritter that day b/c I thought I might have a virus that john had or have some sinus infection b/c I was feeling so cruddy! so I told john I was just going to take the boys to school and then go on over to his office. he said I should just go and he would take the boys to school (mother's day out!)
and I will stop on that note b/c kyle is finally asleep. and I am headed to bed. that little turkey - or lion! - he slept so good last night while I was hanging out with friends. so I got to bed about 1:45 am. and he was up at 3 am to eat. not so bad b/c I took Claritin D which helps me wake up easy and function - and I was expecting him to get up and eat about then. but then I was expecting him to go back to sleep! he didn't - he tooted for about 3 hours straight! So finally I go make him his next bottle at 6 am and he is asleep when I get back with it! So i set it aside thinking he will wake up any minute - nope - and jack was up at 6:30 ready to conquer the day! - so I am tired tonight.
and in just the time I typed that - he is awake again! let's all pray for no gassiness and for sleep!