Kyle's NICU Story in Pictures

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Resolve... - JOHN

Where to begin…

Kyle had a rougher day today. After such a great day yesterday, it was a little tough to come in to hear that they had to back off of feedings, and reconsider the endomethicin treatment.
This is the medication to try and close the PDA valve that we have been discussing. The Docs and team believed that the PDA had shown its ugly head again, so we cease the feedings and resume the endomethicine. I pray that this time, that medicine works, and works for good. They had to increase the vent today to 45 breaths per minute, at 40% oxygen. He was a little wet sounding in the lungs, so they began lasix to try to get some of that cleared up.
These are all things that you just don’t want to hear especially after the exhilaration of the day before.
Regardless of what statistics and science says about babies like Kyle…
Kyle has overcome so much already.
I know that God who began a GOOD work in Kyle will be faithful to complete it. I know that Kyle is more than a conqueror.

I just called in to speak with his night nurse. Kyle has had this guy before. This nurse is not the most encouraging in the world.
So, here is where I have come to…

I am praying for a healthy and clear Brain free from bleeds, and trusting God to take care of Kyle.

I am praying for the PDA to close permanently tonight, in the powerful and strong name of JESUS, trusting that God is up to something here.

I am asking and believing God for a healthy Digestive and Nervous System believing that God will continue to develop this as quickly as Kyle can handle.

I am believing and asking God for strong skin to replace the peeling, cracking and scabbing areas where pads, stickers and monitors have bruised him.

I am believing and asking AND trusting God for strong lungs and healthy respiration beginning right now in the name of Jesus.

I believe God for protection from infection and NEC.

I am not by any means saying that this is not hard,…
I have said it before and will say it again... I would not wish this on anybody... not even that 'worse enemy' whoever that could be... This is the hardest thing I have ever had to walk through, and this is the hardest thing we (my beautiful and amazing wife and I have ever had to walk through...) BUT-------------------------------------
tonight, I just have no choice but to remember and hang on to the fact that I have nothing with me on this journey, but faith – trusting God with my little boy… after all, I KNOW God loves Kyle wildly.

Kelly and I can do nothing but sit, pray, believe and wait upon the Lord… and watch strength rise.

I speak blessings over my micro man tonight, … words of life.
Words of comfort and peace.
Words of hope and prosperity and future...
Words of truth believing that THE way and THE life and THE truth – the message, the method and the meaning is holding Kyle in that incubator.

I firmly believe and pray, inviting the fullness of the Holy Spirit of Jesus to fill that room tonight and fill that incubator to protect my son from all things.

Psalm 34:19 'Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the LORD delivers him out of them all.'
Jeremiah 30:17 'For I will restore health unto you, and I will heal you of your wounds, saith the Lord.'

Jeremiah 33:6 'Behold, I will bring you health and cure, and I will cure you, and will reveal unto you the abundance of peace and truth.'

Matthew 18:19 'Again I say to you that if two of you agree on Earth concerning anything that they ask, it will be done for them by My Father in heaven.'

Mark 11:24 'Therefore I say to you whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you will have them.'

Isaiah 58:8 'Thy light shall break forth as the morning, and thy health shall spring forth speedily; and thy righteousness shall go before thee: the glory of the Lord shall be thy rear guard.'

Today is done… tomorrow is a new day.

tired & encouraged - kelly

I am so tired tonight. and I worry that you don't want to hear about my breakdown in my closet floor tonight - so I will just share this.

I start every monring with a huge desire and determination to be filled with joy and act like it. My 3rd son has been born and he is beautiful (even when I type that now - I am smiling). I just want to rejoice and I want to be strong to fight for kyle. He is going through the tough stuff not us. but then by the end of the day I hurt. HURT! so again tonight I will CHOOSE to focus on the truth - God's truth.

God ordained Kyle's days
God is in control
God is good.
God loves kyle and created him b/c he wanted to
and here is one that is hard to admint - this was not my fault - I didn't cause this.
and I will praise the Lord at all times I will constatntly speak His praise!

and what I have been wanting to say for several nights is thank you - Thank you to all of you who are praying - thank you for making my children and my family your priority! I am in awe. Thank you for commenting - even thought I don't answer I read each of them and I am SOO encouraged to know that you are praying for us and for kyle. I love every story and every encouragement every thought and every scripture you all send to me.

Thank you to all of you that have sent financial help and gift cards for gasoline or coffee or meals. Thankyou for the home group full of people we don't even know that are bringing us food.

and to those of you that have literally paused your lives to live with me in this new strange reality. You clean my house, do my laundry, cook my meals - and MOST OF ALL you are loving my children. and as I have asked out of desparation you all have met me with open arms and joy. thank you for loving me. I did not know love ran this deep.

THANK YOU FOR ALL OF THIS - this is community. this is what scripture meant when it speaks of church.

psalm 34: 17,18 "The Lord hears his people when they call to him for help. He rescues them from all their troubles. The lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed. the righteouse person faces many troubles, but the Lord comes to the rescue each time. for the Lord protects the bones of the righteous; not one of them is broken!"

Two steps forward... three steps backwards


We just had doctors rounds this morning...

Two steps forward... three steps back. This is what they keep telling us over and over, and you hear them, but you just don't want to believe that after such great things happening, you will start going back to the same stuff you dealt with before. But, never the less, here we are,... so here is what is going on.

It seems as if Kyle's PDA valve has reopened itself. They said that this could happen, and likely would. We hoped and prayed it would stay closed, but that darn little thing decided to open back up for business. The plan is to treat him once again with this certian medicine that has a good success rate, but sometimes doesn't work as well in micropreemies like Kyle. Pray, please pray that this works. Things get stable fast when it closes seemingly, so we are praying that the medicince closes it for good this time. While they administer this treatment of medicine, they must stop feedings, so the steps of progress takent there will start all over again in the next day or two, if the meds do what they are suppose to do.

There is still much worry about infection. They did a CBC this morning to check all the levels in his blood. Red blood cells, white blood cells, immature white blood cells, etc,... and so far, that looked ok. They are watching it, but it seemed that it was decent for now.

They are playing with his vent setting today to see if they can better that situation even more, but with the PDA issue, that is a fight back and forth.

His skin is still just so immature, and Kyle himself was a little immature in developement even for his gestation age, which goes against him, but, I believe that he is doing well and so do the doctors - for his age and for where he should be statistically.

Please pray for us all today. Pray specifically for Kyle's PDA valve to close, the medicine to work for good, and for his feedings to resume, and resume well.

Pray his digestion system keeps developing well,and that when they resume feedings, that it all works perfectly.

Pray for his respiration and his lungs to continue to develope and that he can get rid of fluid that has built up a little.

Pray that his kidneys continue to do well, and that all is working perfectly there.

Pray for his skin - specifically his stomach! His poor little stomach has so much breakdown from probes and stickers, etc,... pray his skin corrects itself and heals and gets stronger!

Continue to pray against brain bleeds (IVH)

and Continue to pray asking God to help Kyle to avoid NEC.

Pray against infections of any kinds... bacterial, fungal, staph, etc...

Pray against any attack of the enemy today who desires to steal, kill and destroy.
Prat that there will be no weapon formed against us that will prosper.

And,... last but not least, they are taking out Kyle's umbilical line today, which means he starts getting a lot more stuck with needles. Pray for this removal to go well, and that it would not allow any infection in. This removal gets us close to being able to hold Kyle a special way, which will be great for him and mom.

Thanks for praying. Kyle needs you today!

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

day 8 - kelly

I am going to let john give you the details - he is the gifted writer in our family. but I am writing b/c you guys hold me accountable to decompress at the end of each day. I love that one day I will have all of this in writing - the whole story of a miracle - on paper. b/c if it were not for so many of you sending encouraging thoughts - and I read and I am moved and encouraged by EACH ONE - and asking for the next blog I would not be consistent to type out my feelings.

Kyle had an amazing day today. HE ATE! (i'm sure john will give details) - Kyle is holding all his numbers and the doctors again shrug their shoulders and say they are pleasantly surprised.

I think today has been the hardest day yet - can't really put my finger on why - other than the air here in my reality seems to be thin.

I spent the morning with jadon and jack in the back yard playing - remembering of course that I can't hardly move yet - walking takes effort! Then we played and fed jack lunch and I even got to put him down for his nap - then I race out the door to see kyle - stoping for a time of prayer at one of our church families - that was amazing - but at the same time - difficult. As I get to kyle - I have to pump - 20 minutes and I produce 3 ml. for those of you that get that you will know why that adds to my hurt. Then Kyle goes through his first feed - never been so nervous - has a blockage in a tube they had to get out - was schooled on infections and how dangerous they are - (and really it is hard to explain how hard this is to go through as i was feeling it) then as I get him tucked into bed - safe and sound after a really great day - we sing and pray and I head home - only to find out that Jadon misses me. and at that moment the air is no longer thin - it is gone. Of course he misses me but I realized tonight that I can't save my little lion, I can't make jadon and jack feel assured that they are safe and loved by me. I just can't do it - no matter how early I get up - how hard I try to hide and seek or play cars - how much I pray by kyle's bed or how much I pump or how many songs I sing to him.

In my weakness he will be made strong.
The joy of the Lord is my strength.
The righteous face many troubles but the Lord rescues them from each and every one
I will praise the Lord at all times
let all who are discouraged take heart
I prayed to the Lord and he answered me freeing me from all my fears.

PLEASE keep praying for protection from infection
PLEASE pray for my body to produce the milk kyle needs
PLEASE pray for protection for Kyle's brain and no bleeds

Thank you. Kyle did awesome today - He is a courageous little lion!

Giving Blood/platelets

We have found out that you have to have a form in order to
give blood to Kyle, or in his name.

You can call Children's Memorial and get this donor page faxed to
you, or you can call our house and we will leave a copy
there to fax to you.

We also have a Medical Record Number for Kyle. They may
be able to look him up by this... not sure.

If you are interested in that number, or the actual
paper form, contact us.

281-419-6000. Someone will be able to help you!


John and Kelly

Monday, October 29, 2007

End of Day 7—Journey

Luke 9:1-6

And he called the twelve together and gave them power and authority over all demons and to cure diseases, and He sent them out to proclaim the kingdom of God and to heal. And he said to them, “Take nothing for your journey, no staff, nor bag, nor bread, nor money; and do not have two tunics.

I was reflecting on this passage on my ride home tonight from the hospital.

Kyle had a pretty solid day, considering…
All in all, I was pleased that his doctor felt like he was doing well,… again,… considering all that goes or comes with being born at 23.5/7 weeks.
I joy in what God is doing, and continue to beg God to save, sustain and spare his life. When I left, he was down to receiving 34-35 breaths per minute from the vent at 22% Oxygen.
That is really amazing.
However,… if I have heard it once, I have heard it a ton…

It is a marathon, not a sprint.

My nutritionist told me I needed to get devoted to a marathon or triathlon or something like that once. I just thought to myself,.. this woman must be crazy… me? Run that many miles??? That is why God gave humankind the intelligence to make the automobile. Nope. Not for me.

But, here we are, on the brink of one of the biggest journeys of our life.

There is the crazy faith part of me that continues to pray and believe.
But there is the flesh side of me that is still gripped in fear and anxiety.
Fear and Anxiety are not of the Lord,… I know this,… I have confessed this over and over then worried that God won’t answer my prayer for my lack of faith and fear… enter in scripture…

And, this is really how my ADHD brain works…
One minute, I am near sobbing, doing all I can to hold it back from letting the dam burst,… the next, hearing scripture in my head…
One that rings over and over from John 11… (one of my favorite passages of the power of Jesus.)

Where he states: IF you believe, you will see the glory of God…. then later, he comes back in on the scene and reiterates Himself… Jesus did this sometimes, that is why I would like to think him as somewhat sarcastic sometimes…. But, He said later on… “ DID I NOT SAY that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?”
This is where the passage I began this post with comes to play.
On the way home, I was doing what I do when I get alone,… think, pray, break down… drive (which is hard with my new hip accessory the boot –
Thanks for the ankle sprain while at the hospital)…
Anyway, … So, I kept thinking of this passage from John… “If you believe…”
“If You believe… You WILL see the glory of God.” Then, the passage from matthew 5 came to mind: “Blessed are those whose hearts are pure, for they will see God.”

I was thinking,.. I want to see God. I want to see the Glory of God.
I want others to see the Glory of God,… and I really want my son.
I want my son, but even still, HE (Kyle) was created for the pleasure of God,… whatever that looks like.

This is a hard thing to process. Why may you ask? It sounds so quite poetic and like a great J. piper quote from a great theology book…
Nope. Sometimes, the pleasures of God don’t directly line up with the pleasures of man. For example…
look at this passage…

Isaiah 53:10
But the LORD was pleased To crush Him, putting {Him} to grief; If He would render Himself {as} a guilt offering, He will see {His} offspring, He will prolong {His} days, And the good pleasure of the LORD will prosper in His hand.

God was pleased to crush Jesus. That doesn't line up very well with our view of God sometimes.

I would not wish what Kyle is going through, or what we, his parents are going through on my worst enemy. Period.
However, somehow, in these last 7 days, I have seen the glory of God in powerful ways. Others have seen the glory of God in powerful ways.
Now,… finally,.. enter into the beginning passage of this blog.

Luke. Chapter 9. The passage we never really want to dig into and explain away with easy compartmentalized chronologicized (did I just make up that word?) theology…

He (Jesus) gave His disciples (those who completely left it all behind, died to self and trusted Him)… power over demons… (scared yet?) and diseases.

Here is where unbelief creeps in like crazy, the enemy scores points in church USA, and we quickly jump to our picture of the crazy man on TBN religious broadcasting asking for money making a spectacle out of things…

AND... Here is where I don’t get some calls for worship leading…

I believe in this Jesus. Today.
I believe and choose to believe, current situation or not,
that Jesus has given us, His disciples, this same commission.

I can honestly say I have never been in a more naked, and vulnerable place.
Jesus said…

“Take nothing for your journey, no staff, nor bag, nor bread, nor money; and do not have two tunics.[fn1]
Kelly and I have brought nothing with us on this journey. There is nothing we can rely on but the power of God, which is exactly what Jesus was getting at here. There is nothing we can gloat about, and we dare not simply credit science and medicine without boasting only in the one who gives us science and medicine and ultimately gives us life and breath and a heart to love God.

So, my prayers tonight were very raw. very honest. very hard.
Very stripped down of all things cliché and all things religious…
Just proclaiming the power of the resurrected Christ over my son.
Believing, having… to CHOOSE to believe Him over the lies and fear of the enemy. It is an exhausting journey that we are on. These are the darkest nights of the soul for Kelly and me. With nothing to rely on but God, …

But, here is the truth… for that little one pound, amazing and precious gift and creation of God,… I would gladly journey into the darkest of wilderness
and groan and weep and pray, waiting for the one who put us in that wilderness to pull us out…

all 5 of us.

Ok, so it is 12 something in the morning,… my whole family is going to be mad at me that I am not asleep, and, Kelly will be mad that my post is so long… so
I will write more of my thoughts later.

Pray for our kyle. We love him so much we ache.

most important things... - John

I love these pics. This picture of Kelly reminds me of the pics
we had done when we were engaged. I love the way she looks at
our boys... sounds mushy and cheesy, I know... but true.

Then, there is Jack Jack... and if you have seen the movie
"the Invincibles" at the end, when Jack Jack shows off,...
you will understand more about our little hurricane in
the red superhero outfit!

Jadon makes a rather convincing Captian Feathersword, too.
He actually knows all the songs, dances and sayings by memory.
After all, he has seen the Wiggles live like twice...

bipolar - kelly

sorry for the title and strangly enough I am not worried about myself - I am worried about each of you. Only b/c I feel like one day I tell you all is great and then the next day I feel my world is crashing down around me and I dare to share it. and right now I am wondering ... how does all this keep going. There are emotions of fear that I am not all that kyle needs, a harsh realization that I can not be all that jadon and jack need me to be, a wonder if anyone could be all that a father going through this could need. ...

each waking moment of mine is to sit with kyle, help Jadon and Jack feel like nothing has changed and they are still the light in my everyday, support and love my husband - but then you have to call the insurance company and mail payments to your mortgage comapny and make peanut butter for your 21 month old b/c he doesn't want anyone else to... and then I look around at so many of you and you, just like me, HAVE paused your lives and you are helping me live mine. Thank you. I can not thank you enough - I never will be able to - thank you for loving me, loving john, and even more for those of you that are loving my children. I don't think that every part of me has ever hurt all at once before - to see one child hurting physically and the other two hurting "in their feelings", as my 5 year old put it, is torture to a mother. Jadon was upset b/c I signed up to work the fall festival booth and couldn't be there today. Jack won't eat in his highchair, or let anyone else tie his shoes if I am home - it is a depserate feeling to need help in loving your children. my deepest, most desperate thanks to those - through prayer or physically - who are loving my children with me/for me.

Today i was listening to a woman share how her son is doing better - his heart clot might be going away and in 42 days she thought they would be going home - I felt so sorry for her b/c Kyle was having such a good day and then it hit me like a ton of bricks, - kyle will be here that long and maybe longer. she holds her baby and I am not encouraged to touch mine. Her baby eats and mine doesn't - it is like panic - that for a few minutes I had convinced myself that this was no big deal and we will be done soon. but then reality hits me.

then just as I am typing this - I think - no one wants to hear this - I am supposed to only say good things, only happy things. If I don't lead the chearleading team for Kyle who will - do you see why I titled this bipolar?

I beg God eveytime I am alone (which strangely enough seems to only be when I am in the bathroom) to increase my faith - so that when the winds blow, and they are starting to, I will not be shaken. you know just before Kyle was born, I was meditatiing on a song by watermark - the lord was preparing me - it is about cleaning out the shadows in us and being healed. WOW... the bridge says (I think this is a bridge - not really my forte')

"what is to come is not yet seen but You have promised everything
and I know that when I wait for You You make it worth my while
from where I am to where You are may seem to be way to far
BUT I will call out in the dark!"

so there is truth (God's truth) and there is everything else... thanks for letting me share - everyone keeps telling me that blogging is therapeutic - i still feel bipolar.


MONDAY, OCTOBER 29, 2007 11:08 AM, CDT
Day of life 7!

Kyle is officially one week old as of 1 hour and seven minutes ago. I really did not know if we would get to see this day. God has done great things. Today, I am sitting at the computer in the hospital. Can you believe I was able to actually steal a few minutes on it? I couldn't help it though, because I HAD to tell you all what is happening.

Kyle's doctor (world renown neonatologist John Sparks MD) is pleasantly suprised at Kyle's status. He said, knock on wood,... hoping that he will continue on the course that he is on, but is still telling us that this condition can reverse.

As for now, we praise our God who is the author, and keeper of our lives.

It appears as of now, that Kyle's PDA has corrected itself with the help of meds. His respiration is down to 35 breaths per minute at 24% oxygen! So far, all stats look good today!They are going to watch him for the rest of the day and if he continues to do well, they will start trying to put a little food in his stomach tomorrow. (like .5 cc of it,... but still...)

This is first of all a HUGE praise, so our prayers today begin with MASSIVE amounts of thanksgiving!

God gave me a huge gift today, on Kyle's one week bday with this report.

So, we pray today for the PDA to continue to stay closed and not to re open.

We pray for continued good vital signs. Good Respiration, Good Potassium, Good blood Sugar, etc,... that his electrolytes stay in balance.

We pray for his kidneys to continue down this good path.

We pray for his little digestive system to astound them tomorrow. They don't think he will be able to take it and they will have to try and try and try again and again (in the words of the nurse practicioner)... I pray his digestion works the first time and he is able to receive more and more food so he can grow quickly and receive important things he really needs!

I am praying against IVH (brain bleeds) and the digestion disease - that acronym leaves me right now (NEC) I think... I have talked about it in other posts. Refer back...

But other than that... I just pray he stays on this good course. Kyle has done extremely well, but is still very fragile, very premature, so please keep praying for all of these things and give glory to God with us!

More later...

Sunday, October 28, 2007

Day 6-- John

Day 6…
We began our day hanging out with Jadon and Jack, doing a few things around the house ,… trying to find some sense of “this is how life is going to be for now…” I find myself being overwhelmed at just how we take for granted the health or wellbeing of our kids. These last few days have made me realize just how thankful I am to God for my wife and boys.

Part of me really wants to just give the update… just give the prayer requests, but the other part of me feels like I need a place at the end of the day to vent, to say how I really feel, even if it sometimes looks faithless,… even if it sometimes seems defeated, at the risk of my religious glass house looking cracked for some out there… but the truth of the matter is right now,
I am scared to death. I am scared to trust this peace that I feel in my chest. I am scared to choose to believe that God is doing an amazing thing in our midst ,… I am just terrified that all who speak doom on Kyle’s wellbeing based upon statistics and numbers will eventually swallow me up whole.
So, therefore, I find myself constantly talking with God. Constantly remembering His word,… constantly having to CHOOSE to believe in the report of the Lord, placing hope and trust in Him, and being encouraged by those who continue to read, write, call, text, pray, leave voicemails, visit, give, share, cook, clean, love, play with my boys, etc. etc etc and so much more.

I hear most every call. I read most every text. I read your prayers and encouraging words every night,… it helps me breathe and get focused for the next day of battle.

Today, was a good day at the NICU with Kyle. A good day. Another day where we saw God flex His muscle, and Kyle respond in kind.

I love how when God moves and people respond,… it is just a beautiful thing.
I am praying that we are seeing the signs of Kyle’s medicine working.
Right now, we are tackling PDA which is not Public Display of Affection for all our camp 220 peeps.
It is a valve that should close at birth ,… normal 40 week delivery…
Kyle is 23 weeks, so … well, we have to figure out a way to get that valve closed. This valve is from the heart to the lungs that allows bloodflow.
It needs to close so that too much blood does not flow into the lungs, causing respiratory distress. Early afternoon ,we began to see signs of Kyle’s respiratory being easier. His blood pressure was good, His map was good (average of the top and bottom numbers of the BP) His Blood sugar and CO2 were good…
And finally, he was moved down from 60 breaths per minute to 55.
O2 was still at 35%, but the breaths per minute was decreased! Great, …
This means we are working in the positive trying to stay away from that other ventilator, and hoping to see his lungs grow and improve!
By late in the day, he was still trucking after another dose of the meds…
When we left tonight, … he was still consistent, and they had moved his breaths per minute down to 45. I am really praying that this is a good trend that can keep up. With no applause from medical staff, it is hard to know if and when we have crossed a milestone with Kyle. Anything that looks good is always quickly followed by a warning.

I continue to pray that Kyle’s PDA is closed,
His respiration is good, and getting better
His lungs develop at a rapid pace to a healthy place
His brain be protected from IVH or brain bleeds.
His kidneys to work properly.

Now, I am looking ahead, which we aren’t suppose to do in NICU world,
But I am…
I am beginning to pray for his digestive system to be ready to go for food.
I am praying against infections that can really set him back.
I am praying against a disease called NEC.
I am simply praying God will continue to favor Kyle and give him life and breath and that he will be healthy and safe.

I want Kyle to become a mighty mouthpiece for the glory of the all powerful, supernatural God. What more of a testimony than Kyle telling his story one day to a room full of students, or even crisis pregnancy centers, etc…
How amazing to be able to share to churches who may be sterile to the power of God and the movement of the Holy Spirit, how God saved him, healed him, gave him life when science claimed he had no chance, and when abortion lobbyists would claim he was only a fetus and not a real baby???
I believe and want this for Kyle. I want to grow old listening to Him proclaim the power of Jesus and speak life into people…

The cool thing is, I get something out of all of God’s glory too…


I pray Jesus that YOU would let this be.

miracles - kelly

God is answering prayer - I can't thank each of you enough that are praying for baby kyle. Today his kidneys did great - they continued the medicine and he started his last dose of this course just 7 minutes ago. Kyle has gone (in one day) from 60 bpm to 45 bpm with his blood gases holding steady! This is an amazing day. They are bringing down the percent oxygen they are giving him also. These are all positives. Kyle had a great day - one nurse said he was showing off!

I loved his nurse today - she made his little burn pad (that is his bed b/c of his skin being too young) into a little snuggie - He looked so cozy and restful today. he likes to be all snuggled up, he likes his legs froggy style, he really does settle down when i sing to him. I absolutly love to just sit and look at him and learn all about him.

my emotions and thoughts are kinda jumbled tonight.
the doctors that care fro kyle are brilliant all the way from the world renown neonatal guy to the bedside nurse that tends to his every need. Brilliant. however soemtimes the doctors look at you and it is like they recognize the hope and then look at you with this pity that I have never seen before. It is in those moments that I continue to beg God to allow me to rest in faith. I am having to learn an all new meaning to that phrase.

this concept in the depth that I am learning- it is hard b/c I truly am used to looking to my husband - you know that place - the one where your head rests when you hug the love of your life. It is the place that for me has never found uncertainty. If I am ever unsure I can rest there and know that it really will all be okay - and now there is still no safer place in the world but even this place now has uncertainty. how do I deal with that - this time I see a super hero of a dad who also feels helpless to rescue his littlest buddy (micro buddy as we call him). I guess that leaves us learning together. we talked about this today - together - that is important! rest in faith. I have often said that I think the greatest gift of God is increased faith. I might have been right.

well - sorry for the ramble tonight - no really funny stories today - it was a good steady day for Kyle - but I second john when I say - PLEASE keep praying, PLEASE keep interceding on Kyle's behalf.

true community astounds me.

Best Friends - The Nanny Chronicles

It was a really awesome day today for the boys. They got to spend some pretty wonderful time with their Mama and Daddy in the morning. It was most definitely the highlight of their day.

Today was also a special day for Jadon because his best friend (that's what he calls Allison James) came to play with him. Normally, they have an Incredible Pizza date when she comes to visit, but today they just hung out at home doing crazy cool stuff like playing soccer and building forts. Apparently, in the middle of one of their soccer matches, Jack decided he was finished with soccer and headed back inside. This was not AT ALL thrilling to Jadon, who said so, not so much with words as with protests and wailing, but nonetheless, the soccer match had to be paused, while Allison retreived Jack. All in all, she said it was a good day.

Bathtime and bedtime are always a great time for the boys. They love their baths, their stories, and their bedtime routines. Kelly is an awesome mom, and it is evident that their bedtime routine is something they all enjoy. Jack has overcome my bedtime songs and my repetoire is increasing (I no longer sing little bunny foo foo, Kelly).

Tonight at bedtime Jadon informed me that he would do all the praying. So he did. He prayed for his mama and daddy. He prayed for Kyle AND Jack. He prayed for his whole family to be safe and strong. Then he said, "Amen." I turned on his nightlite and turned off his big light. Right as I started to close the door he said, "Miss Carol, will you pray for me not to have bad dreams?" So I prayed too.

Please remember to pray daily for Jadon and Jack too. Their lives have changed significantly. They 're being little troopers, but they are just little boys who love their mama and daddy. Pray for them to have supernatural peace in all of this. Ask God for them to feel like the hours they have with their parents in the morning are the greatest and longest parts of their days.

From Home - Shauna

Kelly and John headed to the hospital with specific prayer needs-

Please pray for the meds the doctor is giving kyle for PDA - this hole needs to close and he can only be on these meds for another day. If his kidney's don't work just right, they will take him off the meds- so pray for his little kidneys to work with perfect precision!

They need his oxygen levels to go down- he is at 32% percent - so pray for that number to decrease rapidly- Pray that God would breathe his life giving breath into kyle's lungs... and that they would mature rapidly-

We really need these medicines to work- his kidneys and lungs to mature and function as they should-

pray fervently.

it is really easy to read an email, glance at a blog, or watch 30 seconds of a news special where people are hurting- in need of prayer- and then go about your day. please don't do that today. pray for baby kyle.

if you have been praying- THANK YOU... please continue- if you have been giving... THANK YOU... my request is that you REMEMBER. all the time, every second... this is real, and a part of our lives forever, it is going to be a long battle... please stick it out... continue to pray, to give, and to remember.

here are some pictures from home... and pictures from yesterday at the hospital.

Saturday, October 27, 2007

Heavy heart tonight - John

My heart is heavy tonight. I am constantly finding myself yielding over and over to the fact that God is big. God is right. God is good. God has this in control. God loves Kyle. God knows Kyle and knew him before time. I have his image burned into my mind and when I see him I think of Psalm 139. Skillfully wrought. Wonderfully made.
Kyle, much like his older brothers, are absolutely amazing. I am humbled to know God trusted me to be their dad.
I am hurting for my friends tonight, whom I really don’t know that well. We met them over the course of the week and always check on each other’s kids, and pray for each other.
Tonight around 10, they lost their little girl.
I don’t know how to reconcile that, or even wrap my head around it.
All I could do is sit and try not to stare while I tried to find words to say.
I just sat with them for a few minutes,… all I could get out was, “I am so so sorry.” He just looked at me and told me he hoped the best for my little boy. He was thought of me in his time of need. I so hurt for that family.
I honestly can’t believe we are here. It is like time stopped at 10:01 Monday, and I can’t seem to figure out which end is up. I remember waking up on Tuesday, hoping it was all a bad dream, literally, but being reminded that this is very real by the hospital bracelet still on my arm.
I finished the night with Kyle, praying, begging God for him. I am trying to deeply dig into that well of faith, but in moments like tonight, it is very hard to keep trusting. I do know God is bigger. I do believe that.
These are some of the things I thought on the long ride home.

I called into his new primary night nurse tonight to check on Kyle.
All of his numbers are looking ok, and she said he looked like he was resting, and asleep. I so hope he is resting well and growing, and healing.
They just started the medicine to help close the PDA valve in his heart.
I pray that God uses this medicine to close it quickly with no side affects.
This could be a good thing, a good bridge to cross in helping his development. Pray that God will hear us from heaven. Ask the holy Spirit of God to wonderfully generate those organs into powerful little machines that do everything they were meant to do… maybe early,… but right on time to prepare this little guy for the adventures God has for him.

Kyle belongs to the Lord. I trust that God wants to use him beyond these days to do a powerful work in the Holy Spirit to spread His glory to the ends of the earth. I pray that and believe that for Jadon and Jack, and I trust that for Kyle as well.

Please don’t let life get in the way of remembering Kyle.
On the drive home, I thought long and hard about how the world keeps on
spinning and people move on and go and live and be and do, and… I can't fault them for that.
But truthfully,… I feel like our world literally stopped last Monday at 10:01.
It is like finding yourself at the bottom of a very dark ocean swimming as hard as you can for a breath of air…
looking for the surface… this is how I feel everyday… and from what the doctors and nurses tell me, it is unlikely that the surface will be visible for a while.
Please pray.

Day ?? - Kelly

so I am realizing now that the whole naming each blog entry as the day was a dumb idea b/c I have ablsolutely no idea what day it is and I am assuming that only gets worse.

well today was a good day. important stuff first and then I must share a story! kyle had a good day - I think he likes his nurse he had today... Brandi. his oxygen saturation is good. he is still at 60 bpm (breaths) so that needs to come down but today they were letting him rest. He got platelets today so for those of you asking yes please you can donate platelets and blood in kyle's name. anyway so he got those today in preparation of a medicine he may need to close a hole between his heart and lungs. this hole is normal but he will need help closing it b/c he is not full term. Please pray for his kidneys to mature supernatually b/c he will need to be able to tee tee like a champ to get this medicine. Please continue to pray for his brain for protections from bleeds! so... recap... protection from brain bleeds, maturing lungs and kidneys, ventilator breaths to go down from 60 per minute. and as his mom I am praying that he would breathe in the breath of God. That while his eyes are not open he will watch the angels as they defend him. he will smell the breath of God as it heals him. that one day he will remember being held by his Father's healing hands.

okay - my story for the day. I had several hours to sit with kyle today and agian, his is a joy. I love to just watch him. He streched his little arms and legs soooo long today, he curled up and held his hands together under his chin and went to sleep, as soon as I got his diaper off to change it he put his hand down there. mom's you understand - is that not the first thing they do? :)

but my other purpose today was to meet with a lactation consultant. kelly and breast feeding is not a good combo! but with kyle being so little it is necessary. we may be using a milk bank some but we needed to use my milk also. (curtis, now is the time you will want to close your ears). as some of you know lactation consultants can be a bit over the top - this lady was great! I am totally gun shy on this mind you but after our talk we decide I am going to try. So she goes to get the pump and as she places the pump on me (no discretion here) she lets me know that she wants me to use this one b/c it is the cadilac and not only does it have better suction but it uses foreplay on the breast. you heard me right. anyway - after I pumped and came out of the room with my jars of milk everyone was patting me on the back and say "great job". the nurse clapped for me. kind - but strange - but kind. anyway - the lord is protecting me, I am feeling good and today good and the lord even provided some humor!

what a joyful day with my little lion.

Back at Home - The Nanny Chronicle

Back at Home are two very loved little boys, being cared for by an army of people. We thought you would want to know what life is like for them, while Mama and Daddy are watching Kyle grow and get stronger.

Today was a good day for both boys. They got to spend some much needed quality time with Kelly. Kelly, is highly efficient and in a short period of time she packed in a whole lot of "mommying." She played cars, sang songs, and even slipped in some fingernail clipping! John and I laughed because Kelly even had a "fingernail clipping" song. It was a sweet day for Jack because both his mommy and daddy got to put him down for his nap.

Miss Lori and Hilary came over to play today. They were joined by Uncle Kevin (or UNC as he is called by the boys.) They all played a game of hide-n-seek. Uncle Kevin said that Jadon plays a killer game because he always picks a hiding place that is right next to base. As soon as the counter says, "ready or not . . ." Jadon reaches out from his "hiding place" and says, "BASE!" Jack also enjoyed the game and used his excellent counting skills (they sounded a lot like grunting, but were rhythmic, and therefore seemed like counting).

Tonight, Jack went sweetly to sleep, but Jadon had a tough time going to sleep. So, I made up a story about a pride of lions, complete with a daddy lion, a mommy lion, two big brother lions, and a little tiny lion who was away at lion school, growing big and strong, and learning all the things little lions need to know. ("Like roaring and stuff?" Jadon asked.) At the end of his story he looked up at me with the sweetest little face. "Miss Carol?" he said. I thought he was going to say what a great story that was, but instead he said, "Shauna is going to be here for 50 days and we're going to play baseball every day for 50 days." Then he snuggled under his covers and went to sleep.

More Prayer Needed - kelly

Please pray again. We just heard from Misty - awesome nurse by the way - that she is having to give another round of bicarb. This is the medicine that is dangerous to Kyle's brain. Pray for protection please.

He has been moved back to 60 breaths per minute on the ventilator from 55. but it is good that we had room to go up b/c they had weaned him earlier.

Please pray for supernatural maturing of his lungs and kidneys! please pray!

Friday, October 26, 2007

Medical Fund - Kelly

I have never seen a more biblical example of community than what is going on in our lives now. I will never be able to express the gratefulness I feel as each of you care so much for Kyle and our family. It is humbling the way people love.

Many of you have asked specifically if you can help financially. We have set up a medical fund for those of you that would like to help.

You can go to any Bank of America or Wells Fargo and ask to donate to the Kyle Sherrill Medical Fund. Thank you to all of you for the different ways you are loving us.

Answered Prayer! - Kelly

God answered our prayers yet again last night. An hour after we began praying kyle's carbon dioxide was down to an acceptable level. Please keep praying for his lungs and kidneys. they need to superanaturally mature. We need to continue praying for protection from brain bleeds, he is having to take some of the medicine that can be responsible for these. Pray for protection from infection. today they moved kyle to 55 breaths per minute from 60 - this is a good move, we want to continue moving this number down. So lungs, kidneys, brain, and no infection - there is everyone's assignment. THANKYOU! God is answering our prayers. Our prayer for each of you is that your faith is increased as you see Jehovah Rapha move.

last night was beyond tough. I have never before experience emotions like these - fear, ache, terror, those don't realy describe it I have never screamed and cried from as deep a place in my body as this. how can thought and emotion evoke such a physical response? (this is not a good thing just after surgery I might add) my husband sobbed beside me, held me, and just simply spoke the word "peace". I learned something last night... God's peace is enough. It is stronger than fear and grief. this was a powerful lesson for me - one that I will need on this journey.

on a note from mom - today was good. I was very nervous as I went to see kyle but when we walked in all the numbers were blue. (when numbers are blue they are in an acceptable range - red is our of range and that is not good). He had a good day. I got to hold him today - now outside his house (that is his incubator) but the nurse had to change the burn pad he rests on (that is b/c his skin is so immature - a baby blanket would hurt him). So I held him us while she slide the new pad in. it was amazing!

Kyle truly brings me so much joy! He seems to nestle in when I sing to him, he loves to be enclosed by his pads (like being swaddled). He is so good tempered as the nurses mess with him. I also got to change him again today, sing to him, talk to him. We had a great day together.

more soon....

Info on updates - John

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 26, 2007 12:27 PM, CDT
we have decided to keep posting on caringbridge as well.
We had just posted to start going to, but caringbridge is getting overwhelming traffic, so we want to keep all lines of communication open. So, both sites will be functional. may have new photos/better photos etc, but both sites will have updates from either kelly or me or both.

Thank you to those who are asking about contributions.
Someone has set up some fund accounts and that info
will be on line as soon as we know what all info we need to post. I know it will be done through Bank of America and Wells Fargo.

Again, we are completely overwhelmed by your prayers adn concern. Please please please, above all continue to pray. Continue to stay connected to us through this site and You can visit that blog from the links page of this site.

Thanks so much


Here is the site for caringbridge.

Keep Praying... God is moving - John

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 26, 2007 11:09 AM, CDT
I am having a hard time getting going today.
It is 11 and I am about to head down to see Kyle
as of 2 am his Carbon Dioxide levels had gone down considerably, causing a better look, but then climbed back
up around 5:30 am. They readjusted his ventilator, and
he seemed to get comfortable again, with the levels going back down. He is getting 60 breaths a minute from this vent. This is the most that he can receive from this type of ventilator. The next step would be another ventilator that
could pump in as many as 600 breaths per minute.
I am not sure exactly how all that works,... there are advantages and disadvantages to both vents. Obviously,
a ventilator is not suppose to be there at all, so any vent can
cause damage, but from what I have heard, the vent he is on is the better one for him to be on. He graduated once to this vent from the other, so I am really hoping we don't have to go to the other vent again. They have said to expect these set backs. The continually remind me that he is so small, so micro premature and that his chances aren't strong, but I know he is a fighter. Doctors also told us Jack was a miscarriage and God healed Jack.
We continue to pray right now against infection.
This is important, and also for his lungs to supernaturually
develop so thathe can keep progressing.

Thanks for your prayers, support, calls and concern.
I see every text though I can't respond to all,
I hear about every voicemail and so does Kelly.
We appreciate knowing so many care for Kyle and us.

I will try and post more as I know more.

Please Pray for lungs! - John

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 26, 2007 12:27 AM, CDT
Please pray right now.
I just got home.
Kyle's lungs aren't doing well. He is having a problem letting out carbon dioxide. So, his CO2 numbers are up.
There are a few things they say they can do, but I can not depend on them. I am begging God to do something dramatic here.
I am asking God point blank to grow Kyle's lungs right now
through the resurrected power of the Holy Spirit.
I am believing and trusting God still moves and works and miraculously heals and delivers and regenerates.
I am asking God to give Kyle strong lungs that can kick out this carbon dioxide.

pray for wisdom as well. Pray for the nurses that are taking care of kyle. Pray for the wisdom of Christ to fill thier minds and the carpenter skills of Jesus to work on the masterpiece God created in Kyle.

My heart is so heavy tonight.
It is hard to pray. The enemy is beating me down.
But I know God can do this.

Thursday, October 25, 2007


You may see this heading many times from us but when you do... Please stop and intercede for baby Kyle.

Pray for kyle's lungs - he is not exhaling all the carbon dioxide in his lungs. This is dangerous. Please pray for his lung doctor to have wisdom on how to help him through this. The doctor is making a change and will check his progress in one hour. Please pray.

Day Four - Kelly Joins In

My amazing husband you will soon realize is the author in our family, but now that I am out of the hospital I would love to share a few thoughts about our youngest son.

I was discharged from the hospital today and went straight to see baby Kyle! (prior to today I had only ever spent 5 minutes with him - this was in my recovery room so I don't remember too much!)

several friends tried to prepare me. They spoke of tears and fear and warned me of how tiny and how many tubes and how his skin is bruised and red... and again... how tiny. I can honestly say I am still smiling from ear to ear! I had the best day. I was so nervous to meet my little lion today! So anxious for him to hear my voice again, wondering if he missed the bedtime song I sing to his brothers each night! MY DAY WAS AMAZING! I held his hand. I got to pray over him 10 or so different times. I read scripture to him (I'll share that with you later). I sang him to sleep and I know you say "how do you know if he is asleep?"... I'm a mom - fused eyes or not - I can tell when he falls asleep! a perfect day. I got to change his diaper, take his temp... a perfect day. I am so happy to be his mom! I was able to sit with him for over 4 hours today.

now it wasn't all normal mom stuff I watched a world renown neonatologist meet with nurse practitioners as the came up with scenarios on how to best care for kyle. I watched a brain ultrasound on kyle. and several other medical things that I couldn't explain if I tried.

Kyle had a good day today. I would love for each of you to join us in the miracle God is doing. We are praying for protection over his brain from any bleeds. These are very dangerous. We need his PH levels to come up and sodium to continue going down. rest assured I will get better at the numbers and details.

the scripture I was speaking of above is Psalm 34:10 "Even strong young lions sometimes go hungry, but those who trust in the Lord will lack no good thing. One of my dearest friends - my soul friend - when I called her with the news kyle was coming - the Lord gave her a picture of a Lion that had to be uncaged! as she went to the Lord and asked what this means - the Lord gave her this passage!

My life is forever changed - I am in love with this little lion!

Day Three - John

THURSDAY, OCTOBER 25, 2007 02:11 AM, CDT
Today was a better day! Kyle's numbers are still a little elevated, but his bloodsugar today did great! We were at the highest yesterday of 287,... (should be 80-90)...
today, we even saw 109! God is doing great things, and all glory goes to Him. He is using these amazing doctors and nurses. I can't say enough about the team of people working with Kyle. They are simply amazing. Words really can not express how I feel about them. So, the result of the numbers going down tonight (2:14 am) is that he is totally off insulin for now (doesn't mean he won't have to be back on here and there) but, for now... he is off,... and they are starting his nutrition pack (vitamins, fats, etc). This is very good. His respiration has been great today, and I pray that continues. He is breathing at 21% oxygen which is like room air to you and I (we breathe at 21%) and he is on the lowest ventilator you can be on, which is really supernatural.
(again... no gaurantees that it will remain like this, but... we choose to believe and speak the blessings here).
This oxygen/respiration thing is so good because in Kyle's case being what is called a micro preemie,... at now just less than 1 lb., this will allow his eyes to develope healthy.
So, we want this respiration/oxygen thing to stay here!
This is a good place to be with this.

Kyle also had his first blood transfusion today,... any blood donors out there? Donate in Kyle's name!
This is a dangerous thing, because the blood is being pumped into his head, which is the danger for brain bleed, but Kyle handled it very well. We watched his blood pressure the whole day during and after and he stayed
very consistent, so we continue to pray.

Brain bleed is a dangerous thing for these little dudes
especially during the first 7-10 days of life.

doesn't mean it can't happen later,... but high high risk is first 7-10 days. So, we pray hard for this area.

All in all, though, Kyle had a good day. He took light therapy for a long time today, where they put little eye covers on him and he lays under light. I really can't explain this one partly because I can't remember the acronym for what number this represents and it is like 2
something in the a.m. and my head is a little gone.
BUT,... It looks like Kyle was tanning all day in a tanning bed,... and honestly, it is very much like that as a matter of fact. This does help his liver and pancreas along to fight some things. They aren't developed enough to keep up with breaking down red blood cells, so the light actually helps. This number came down from 9 to 4!

Thank you so much for your prayers and concern.
Kelly and I are overwhelmed by it all.
And thank you to those of you who are relentless about praying, and texting and calling to check on us.
I deeply apologize to you for not being available right now
much to talk. But, know that every message and text hits our ears and hearts. I will be able to chat with you all soon
and I pray we will be able to continue to celebrate as God is working miracles in Kyle's little body!

Blessings for tonight to you and yours.

Day Two - John

Yesterday was a hard day. Kyle's Bloodsugar was high for most of the day,... to fight that they give him insulin mixed with sugar water,... which is sort of an oxymoron, so it has a circular affect,... the only other option is to mix it with saline, but his sodium levels are too high as well, which led to potassium levels being too high. At one point, it was really a hard moment we were dealing with,... the team decided to put sterile water into his stomach to help hydrate him and to hopefully bring some of these levels down. It was a little time, a little stress, and a lot of prayer, but we did see the levels come down. This was a real gift from God. Hurdle one... that was our first 'three steps back' they talked about. They told us from square one that his skin was very gellatinous, (not fully formed and ready to retain water for itself and be the organ barrier to help prevent and fight disease away,... etc) We were also told and are reminded daily that the statistics of little guys kyle's age that actually make it are very low... so he is working from much negative equity. Over night, the bloodsugars went down to some of the lowest levels I have seen, which is amazing as well. His potassium and sodium are still a little high, but lower. We are praying right now for these levels to continue to fall into a healthy range.
We are watching and praying that his blood pressure remains at a good place so not to stress his brain with too much and cause brain bleeds. This is one of the major things that these little ones have to be concnerned about.
There are so many things that can be caused from this.

I am specifically asking God (who CAN DO THIS)
to supernaturally and powerfully form his organs and skin faster than science can understand. I thank God for medicine and these teams of people who are giving Kyle the best care, but we need a supernatural outpouring of healing and health and growth and nurture and protection.
I truly believe God can do this. I genuinely want this to glorify Him in the most powerful way possible, and to see people's view of God expand at the wonder of God through Kyle. I want to see people's hearts soften to God through Kyle,... but I also just want Kyle to be healthy and well
( for us )... so please press deep into the Holy Spirit on Kyle's behalf. Pray and believe. Ask God to pour out His power as He did at pentacost. Ask God to have people stand and be amazed at His power through Kyle and how HE (God) ministers to that little guy.

more later.

Day One - John

Thanks for visiting our page! Here, hopefully you can read
about what is happening with our little guy day to day.
Please be in prayer for him. We love you all and appreciate your overwhelming support of prayer and concern. Please continue to pray fervant prayers for our little Kyle!
Monday was a crazy morning... Kyle decided it was time to make his entrance... Not exactly when we THOUGHT he was coming, but,... like all Sherrill boys,... they have their own way of thinking! Kyle was born at 10:01 am in the morning.
Kelly was up for the normal get the kids ready for preschool morning, breakfasts, lunches packed, somehow get Jadon and Jack to dress and eat etc,... She hadn't felt real well for a couple of days, but never thought anything dramatic about it. Monday am was a little different in that there was some real back pain involved and some bleeding, so she went to the doctors office while I worked on getting the boys ready and to school. To make a long story short by the time I got to the shcool to drop of the boys, Kelly called and had fully dialated and was being rushed to the hospital in her doctor's truck!
I did make it to his office in time to take her and her doctor followed quickly after.
Kyle came very quickly from emergency c section. He was a little less developed than they hoped. He weighed 1 lb and 2 ounces and is 11.5 inches long. He is very small and very fragile. His little system isn't quite ready for all of this, but never the less, he is trying his best, with the help of teams of doctors and nurses, and more importantly God and a host of angels. I know the Holy Spirit's presence is all over him, simply because in the words of a wise pre teen I met once,... God created Kyle because he WANTED to. Everyday seems like it will present a new battle, so every day we wait and pray. For updates, check the journal page.

Click below to go to my Personal March of Dimes Page

Our Story

This story begins with 5 people. John, Kelly, Jadon, Jack, and Kyle (he is only 23 weeks old... and he is still safely tucked away in his mommy's belly) In an hour's time Kyle made his way into the world. 1 pound, 3 ounces- 11 and a half inches long. This family will never be the same. This child is a warrior. He has the spirit of a Lion, and more courage than a whole pride. He is fierce, and fearless- and he is teaching us to fear the Lord- and to believe that God is in our midst and healing even now. Join us as pray, as we praise, and as we journey through this life as lovers of God and all His glory.

Kyle is in the March of Dimes Promo!